Keyboard Attorney 

Random kids on the internet who think they're attorneys without knowing what the hell it is. They think they're lawyers, when in reality they don't know jack, and their moms just told the they're good at arguing and that they should become a lawyer.

Beyond Scared Straight Deputy: Hit me if you want to, girl!

Girl: *Hits deputy

"Lukezilla" from Youtube: "lEgaLLy iF sOmeONe gIvEs yOu pErmISsIon aS tHe OfFiceR dID iT is oKAy tO hIt tHe pERson gIRl dID nOthIng wRonG"

Me: Okay "Lukezilla". Smh, so many Keyboard Attorneys out here

Lukezilla's mom: "Lukey stop being a Keyboard Attorney and go to bed"

Lukezilla: Shut up bitch I'll kill you!

Keyboard Attorney by Killmonger55485 May 24, 2020

Halo Attorneys 

Saved my life. Best attorneys in the world!

Shit, I better call Halo Attorneys to save my ass.

Halo Attorneys by Urban king of the streets March 26, 2019

District Attorney 

In many jurisdictions in the United States, a District Attorney (DA) is an elected or appointed government official who represents the government in the prosecution of criminal offenses. The district attorney is the highest officeholder in the jurisdiction's legal department and supervises a staff of assistant (ADA) or deputy district attorneys. Similar functions are carried out at the local level in other jurisdictions by officers named the Commonwealth's Attorney, State's Attorney, County Attorney, or County Prosecutor. Depending on the system in place in the particular state, county, or district attorneys may be appointed by the chief executive of the region or elected by the people.

The District Attorney didn't do a good job in convicting O. J. Simpson.

District Attorney by lazaro1118 June 27, 2011

ace attorney circlejerk 

The worst, least funny subreddit and/or discord server to ever be real

Hi, your post has been removed. If you're wondering why this is, there's a few possibilities. First, please make sure to read the stickied post on what qualifies as a 'jerk' -- your submission should either be ironic in some way or make fun of the main subreddit somehow. If it does neither of these, we reserve the right to remove your post at any time. If your post was very low effort (i.e. an unedited screenshot or picture of the game), this is likely why it was removed. While your post was deemed inappropriate for this subreddit, please feel free to post any memes over in /r/AceAttorneyMemes, which is much less selective in regards to submission content.

Person 1: "I'm an Ace Attorney Circlejerk user"
Normal human being: "Ewww wtf get away from me"

ace attorney circlejerk by Pidgeomn January 3, 2023

attorney 

A person who, after at least three years of intense, post-graduate studies, must pass a very difficult proficiency exam (the bar exam) in most states in order to do someting as simple as defend a person against a DWI charge. Of course, this moron that is charged with the DWI is probably the same person who wrote the definition of attorney as "assmonkey," because this human stain has no idea (and only subscribes to juvenile/comedic groupthink) what most attorneys go through to be zealous advocates of their clients.

Naturally, there are bad attorneys, just as all priests don't molest little boys. There are mechanisms in place to ensure that even attorneys accused of misconduct are given the same fair tribunal that everyone else is entitled to before being suspended or disbarred.

Attorneys are some of the most powerful people in the nation: they can defend citizens to prevent them losing their property, liberty, and even their very lives. Some of the more prominent attorneys in the United States were its founding fathers. Others fought for the emancipation of slaves, voting rights for women and minorities, desegregation of public schools and facilities, and the very freedom to call them assmonkeys. Before opening your ignorant mouth in the future and engaging in a "lawyer joke," consider where the nation would be without them. For better or worse, we would not be a civilized society without them.

This definition applies primarily to United States attorneys, and not so much to my learned brethren across the pond, namely barristers and solicitors.

John: "What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?"

Jeff: "I don't know."

John: "One is a bottom-feeder, and the other is a catfish."

Jeff: "You are an ignorant idiot worthy of my wrath, but before I unleash it, go to www.urbandictionary.com and educate yourself on what attorneys really are, fucktard."

attorney by BigZaccyStyle July 19, 2006

Method Attorney 

an attorney who in order to understand his criminal clients, commits the same type of crime

Bob: Did you hear about Tim getting arrested?
Phil: No, what happened?
Bob: He tried to jack-up a convenience store last night.
Phil: Why did he do that?
Bob: He was trying to get into his client's head.
Phil: Oh, he is a method attorney.

Method Attorney by advobri August 1, 2007

attorney general 

The highest-ranking law enforcement officer in the United States of America. He or she is appointed by the current President of the United States to serve at the cabinet level for as long as the appointing President is in power. He or she must be confirmed by the United States Congress before he or she can take the oath of office.

Janet Reno was the Attorney General under President Clinton.

attorney general by Nicolai August 11, 2004