Utica Aftershave

When someone emits a combination of strong unpleasant odors it can be said that they are wearing Utica aftershave. While these unpleasant odors can vary from person to person, there are chief odors that remain consistent: stale or wet tobacco, alcohol, body odors such as flatulents and sweat and dirty clothes are often trademarks of the "Utica aftershave" aroma. Despite its overt references to the pejoritave, the term often implies fraternal bonding and serves as a reflection of irony all Uticans possess. Utica is often lambasted as the most undesirable city in New York state, and Uticans who are well aware of their inferior status have learned to turn the art of self-deprecation into a form of indirect pride (when they put themselves down it is as if they are saying, "We know we are a sorry lot, but if we excel at anything it's at being a sorry lot").

friend #1: Man, I'm ready to go find some chicks today.
friend #2: Yeah, I can tell you're ready for some action. You got your new shoes on and you're wearing that Utica aftershave.
friend #2: Man, screw you!
friend #1: Dang! You stink.
friend #2: Man, screw you!

friend #1: Man, I stink today. I'm wearing my Utica aftershave.
friend #2: Me too. I didn't wear deodorant so I guess I'm wearing Utica aftershave too.
friend #1: We should distill this odor somehow and market it as Utica aftershave. I bet we could make a million dollars.
friend #2: They would have to sell it in the bad hygiene department.

by Jamallerian October 13, 2007

aftershave

The act of ejaculating into your hand then smacking the person you just got done having sex with across the face with the ejaculate-filled hand, as though you were in an aftershave commercial.

She said she wanted my cum on her face, so I gave her the aftershave.

by go_lanche May 22, 2006

Aftershave Shooters

Everybody needs a shooter that's why they make aftershave in so many colours. No other easier way to buy alcohol.

Why do they make aftershave in so many colours? So the poor(homeless) can have aftershave shooters.

by slightly sarcastic December 30, 2010

Afterhand

Jerking off after sex.

That girl wouldn't let me cum on her so I had to resort to some afterhand.

by Amelia Mockett October 12, 2011

Aftershat

Opposite of Aftersnack. Except tastes like ass.

"Brrrraaaaaaaaaappppppp." OMG that was gross! I just had an aftershat after eating all that shitty Mcdonalds!

by J.J Walker's Penis February 1, 2009

Afterstank

The lingering aroma left behind from a strong force of flatulence. At times, afterstank is known to "follow" the offender.

Even though mom farted over 10 minutes ago, the afterstank is still in her bedroom.

by MizWiz April 7, 2010

alternian

A language used by trolls on homestuck it is read from bottom to top and right to left it resembles daedric but upside down and reverse hence the alternate

Karkat was speaking to sollux in alternian

by HometuckObsessed March 4, 2015