You don tell me 

A phrase that drunk people repeat; sometimes the only thing that they are intelligent enough to say; also used towards a girl with a lot of attitude.

Joe: Dave, you piss drunk
Dave: You don tell me!

You don tell me by Pheonixonearth May 30, 2006

let me tell you about homestuck 

"Let me tell you about homestuck" is a joke about homestuck fans trying to tell normal people about homestuck.

Me :' Hey, let me tell you about homestuck'
Friend: 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOO'

let me tell you about homestuck by Homestuckislife.org October 25, 2017

let me tell you something

When you feel the need to make someone feel dumb by demonstrating your knowledge over a wide variety of subjects, this phrase is useful.

Me: That's not true
Moron: Yes it is.
Me: Let me tell you something... (infinite pause)
Moron: ... ?

let me tell you something by mikeschneider May 22, 2006

Oh no, I just wound you. Don’t tell me you’re broken. So not fair. I’ve taken extra good care of you and everything. 

A ptsd trigger for those who are very cultured.

"Oh no, I just wound you. Don’t tell me you’re broken. So not fair. I’ve taken extra good care of you and everything..." Jane said
"Never say that again!" James shouted with fear in his eyes.

Oh no, I just wound you. Don’t tell me you’re broken. So not fair. I’ve taken extra good care of you and everything. by anonymous January 9, 2021

let me tell you something

A typical black elder's preamble serving as a gesture of dominance and/or wisdom...

Young Tyrone: I ain't tall enough to be good at basketball.....
Black Elder: Let me tell you something...

let me tell you something by Pizzlej July 30, 2021

You Don't Tell Me 

To dismiss someone else's statement that either corrects, or nullifies your previous statement.

"I'm not sure we're going the right way."
"Hey! You don't tell me!"

You Don't Tell Me by Zias Noxid April 6, 2009

you can't tell me 

You can't tell me is a way of life. It is when a person will do whatever he or she damn well pleases. If you attempt to tell a person to not do something, not only will they do it on purpose, but they will respond wit hthe phrase,"YOU CAN'T TELL ME"

Steve: "Scott(driving 60 in a 40) slow down
Scott: "you can't tell me" (accelerates to 75)
Steve: celebration!

you can't tell me by scottyd3186 December 4, 2010