Old friends that you never really hear from anymore, apart from the occasional Text msg, Email or fleeting birthday card, that always contains one of the phrases: "we should meet up, hang out, do something, I'll call you..." but never actually make any arrangements. These are good on paper mates, those that bump up your personal sense of popularity but never actually see. Friends in theory.
by KimberleyStrange July 16, 2008
Get the Theoretical Friend mug.A high five which does not actually take place. The THF is initiated, followed by a short pause and then the uttering of the word "nice" by both participants.
by Devin & Sarah January 10, 2008
Get the theoretical high five mug.A woman of cougar age (usually divorced, separated or unmarried). She doesn't hunt younger men. Instead she lusts at them and mentions it to her close friends and/or relatives in private.
Mom (in a whisper): "Meredith, you see those 5 guys over there? They're hot! Aren't they?"
Meredith: "OMG Mom!!! Those guys are all my age!!!"
Mom (still whispering): "Yeah, I know. But I'd love to get with one of 'em. Too bad I could never tell them that."
Meredith: "You're such a theoretical cougar"
Meredith: "OMG Mom!!! Those guys are all my age!!!"
Mom (still whispering): "Yeah, I know. But I'd love to get with one of 'em. Too bad I could never tell them that."
Meredith: "You're such a theoretical cougar"
by blacksburgcougee November 19, 2011
Get the theoretical cougar mug.When a female finds something either sexually arousing or expresses much interest in something (usually food) that a male would typically agree with.
Example 1
Boy: Katie was sooo hot when she kissed Mandy
Girl: omg that just gave me a theoretical boner!
Example 2
Boy: Did you hear they have deep-fried twinky's at the fair this year?
Girl: Wow the thought of a twinky deep-fried gave me a major theoretical boner!
Boy: Katie was sooo hot when she kissed Mandy
Girl: omg that just gave me a theoretical boner!
Example 2
Boy: Did you hear they have deep-fried twinky's at the fair this year?
Girl: Wow the thought of a twinky deep-fried gave me a major theoretical boner!
by Sinful Divinity December 1, 2011
Get the Theoretical Boner mug.by FatGutOmega March 13, 2009
Get the Theoretical Whore mug.The balls that women freeze off when they climb into cold waters. Women don't have testicles so we need something to freeze off besides our breasts because that would be saddening for both sexes. The moment when you get your groin area submerged into the water and you must stop and breath those are your theoretical testicles falling off.
When she cannon balled into the water, you could see her theoretical testicles shrivle and fall off.
by Electric Llithium (KillJoys) July 29, 2011
Get the Theoretical Testicles mug.It means that something could possibly happen. It is highly unlikely it will ever happen, but there is a chance it could happen.
1. Obama can theoretically never be a good president.
2. Theoretically the Illuminati are real.
3. Theoretically it could happen.
2. Theoretically the Illuminati are real.
3. Theoretically it could happen.
by The Inprectichous Man January 30, 2015
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