down by the river

A reference to a series of Saturday Night Live (SNL) skits by comedian Chris Farley in which he plays an overweight, out of work, motivational speaker who lives in a van down by the river. He is routinely hired by concerned parents to speak to their children about the dangers of gangs or drugs. In response, he overstays his welcome, trashes the house with his physical, slapstick humor and scares the kids by using his life as an example of what not to do.

"If you do drugs, you'll end up like me... living in a VAN, DOWN BY THE RIVER!"

its much funnier when he says it, trust me.

by scoobydoo July 28, 2006

up the river

when you get sent to prison

I got sent up the river.

by Cesar August 2, 2004

rosie-the-riviter

Rosie the riviter was a typical world war II wife that decided to go to work in industry while their husbands were fighting the war. They decided they liked their own paychecks and many kept working. Some decided to burn their bras and become liberated. This made their husands really mad, which is hilarious in retrospect.

Look at Sharon. She really is a rosie-the-riviter wannabee, isn't she? Let's include her in the next layoff.

by running out of patience January 5, 2008

blessin’ the river

An expression that began in Ireland referring to taking a piss in the river.

We are blessin’ the river, my friend, and our mystical bond with the natural world will always remain.

by Dr Bunnygirl August 26, 2019

If the river runs red take the dirt track instead

If one's girlfriend is on a period one should stick one's cock up her ass instead

When a man fucks his lady up the ass because she is on her periods to avoid a bloodstained cock

by Bob March 26, 2005

you have apple hair, i threw a pancake into the river, A PANCAKE!

words that a really dilusional teenager will say when they are not on drugs. this kid would probably having swelling in the brain and will need to be rushed to the hospital where they will need a really large needle stuck into their eyeball to get the fluids out.

"i'm not on drugs mom, you have apple hair, i threw a pancake into the river, A PANCAKE!"

by the cooler n-dawg October 30, 2007

living in a van down by the river

A figurative expression meaning being a complete failure at life, a drain on society. Originates from the SNL skit featuring Chris Farley as Matt Foley, motivational speaker.

"You kids are probably saying to yourself, "Now, I'm gonna go out, and I'm gonna get the world by the tail and wrap it around and put it in my pocket!" Well, I'm here to tell you that you're probably gonna find out, as you go out there, that you're not gonna amount to jack squat!" You're gonna end up eating a steady diet of government cheese and living in a van down by the river!" -Matt Foley

Dad: "You made it, son! Congratulations on graduating from Harvard Summa Cum Laude and getting that great job at Goldman Sachs, the world's #1 investment bank."
Son: "Thanks, dad. But actually I only got Magna Cum Laude and will be working at Morgan Stanley, the #2 investment bank in the world."
Dad: "WHAAAAAAT?!?! How have I raised such a worthless, good-for-nothing slacker? You couldn't even finish in the top 10% of your Harvard class with your 3 point..."
Son: "3.76."
Dad: "3.76? A monkey with down syndrome could get a better GPA than that! You miserable failure!"
Son: "Dad, seriously, I worked really hard!"
Dad: "I bet you did! I bet you worked your ass off playing beer pong and chasing the coeds! Well sonny, you're going to have plenty of time to drink beer and chase trashy women when you're LIVING IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!"

by Nick D June 21, 2006