A completely ficticious piece of work.
by Stuju March 15, 2005
The most disputed collection of books in existence. Contain many life morals, Logic Flaws, and contradictions. WILL cause a heated argument with a zealous Christian if you even dare question so much as a word in it Often thumped by devout followers and used as an excuse to preform radical, and absurd acts. It's meanings are misinterpreted, and skewed by the Bible thumpers that "study it".
Bible Thumper: HAVE YOU HEARD THE GOOD WORD ABOUT OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR JESUS CHRIST WHO DIED FOR YOUR SINS? NO? IT STATES IT IN THE BIBLE, WHICH IF YOU DON'T READ AND ACCEPT AS THE WORD OF GOD YOU WILL GO TO HELL! BUT IT'S NOT TOO LATE FOR YOU TO BE SAVED! JUST COME TO OUR CHURCH AND----
Me: Kthanksbai *slams door*
Bible Thumper: BLAH BLAH BLAH RELIGIOUS QUOTE BLAH BLAH BLAH, TALK UNTIL I FEEL JUSTIFIED EVEN THOUGH THE DOOR WAS SHUT IN MY FACE. BLAH BLAH BLAH I DON'T QUESTION FUNDAMENTAL FLAWS OF RELIGION AND THE BIBLE. BLAH BLAH BLAH JOHN 3:16 BLAH BLAH BLAH I MOLEST CHILDREN.
Me: Kthanksbai *slams door*
Bible Thumper: BLAH BLAH BLAH RELIGIOUS QUOTE BLAH BLAH BLAH, TALK UNTIL I FEEL JUSTIFIED EVEN THOUGH THE DOOR WAS SHUT IN MY FACE. BLAH BLAH BLAH I DON'T QUESTION FUNDAMENTAL FLAWS OF RELIGION AND THE BIBLE. BLAH BLAH BLAH JOHN 3:16 BLAH BLAH BLAH I MOLEST CHILDREN.
by The One who Questions April 16, 2011
In the beginning the bountiful Lord created war. It is not known why God in his majesty did such a silly thing. He was grounded for a week. As if it wasn't bad enough he also had a baby with someone else's wife and it was naughty. Around this time God invented condoms but the Catholics confiscated them. They were strawberry flavoured as well. God was really sneaky and then invented femidoms, but no one used them because they looked silly. To make up for the condom incident God invented peace and also pizza. God then killed his son because he was stealing this thunger (literally). And then God had a new son with the angel Gabrielle and called it Chuck Norris.
THE END.
THE END.
The Bible is always right.
by squidface01 April 27, 2009
An annoying and seemingly unending collection of literary works that were established by one story that was told to an old man by a talking bush.
Gradually, the story was recollected and rewritten and is now worshipped by brainwashed followers of an unproven historical event.
The millions of homes in which this book inhabits persist that followers symbolically eat the flesh and drink the blood of Christ, who is Jewish and his own father.
The book has sexist innuendoes such as Adam being made in "God's" likeness where as Eve was made of a piece of Adam's rib bone and dust.
The most fantastic piece of fiction ever written.
Gradually, the story was recollected and rewritten and is now worshipped by brainwashed followers of an unproven historical event.
The millions of homes in which this book inhabits persist that followers symbolically eat the flesh and drink the blood of Christ, who is Jewish and his own father.
The book has sexist innuendoes such as Adam being made in "God's" likeness where as Eve was made of a piece of Adam's rib bone and dust.
The most fantastic piece of fiction ever written.
by Unnamed Rationalist February 20, 2009
An ingenious scam developed by book salesmen in 0BC
They wrote a book called 'The Bible' which was a #1 Best Seller across the middle east and then spread across the planet.
'The Bible' tells the story of Jesus and all his pals.
These salesmen, and Jesus, slowly gathered a large number of followers and plotted to take over the universe.
They wrote a book called 'The Bible' which was a #1 Best Seller across the middle east and then spread across the planet.
'The Bible' tells the story of Jesus and all his pals.
These salesmen, and Jesus, slowly gathered a large number of followers and plotted to take over the universe.
1.
Friend: I just finished reading 'The Bible', it's awesome
You: Yeah, I hope there's a sequel
2.
Friend: Man, I hate those 'Door-to-Door Biblemen'
You: Give them a break, Jesus told them to do it.
Friend: I just finished reading 'The Bible', it's awesome
You: Yeah, I hope there's a sequel
2.
Friend: Man, I hate those 'Door-to-Door Biblemen'
You: Give them a break, Jesus told them to do it.
by Kellan Fisher June 29, 2009
1. Something that causes alcoholics to be become born again christians, then start drinking again.
2. Something Bush refers to but he cant read.
3. Is full of fictional stories, as Adam and Eve and a guy who lived inside a whale (how can you take this book seriously?)
4. Something people worship because they ignore science and listen to what mommy and daddy said because they're always right.
5. Purely fictional
6. Is disproven by evolution/big bang/laws of thermodynamics
2. Something Bush refers to but he cant read.
3. Is full of fictional stories, as Adam and Eve and a guy who lived inside a whale (how can you take this book seriously?)
4. Something people worship because they ignore science and listen to what mommy and daddy said because they're always right.
5. Purely fictional
6. Is disproven by evolution/big bang/laws of thermodynamics
christian: Im Sorry sir, but the bible says to lynch niggers.
african american: but the bible has no proof or says why you lynch black people.
christian: but your a nigger
dundundun
african american: but the bible has no proof or says why you lynch black people.
christian: but your a nigger
dundundun
by captainatheism March 25, 2006