telephonitis

A common disorder precipitated by the overconsumption of alcohol causing the hammered sufferer to reach out by phone to every last person in their telephone contact list.

In a state of tragic undeniable pathos, a bad case of telephonitis drove her to make attempt after attempt to communicate absolutely nothing of importance with seriously shitfaced unintelligible slurring and an endless flood of tears!

by Dr Bunnygirl October 29, 2020

telepanic

That feeling when you don't know where your phone is!

I was in a telepanic when I couldn't find my phone before my meeting.

by FireMetalMan June 6, 2016

Telephonic relief

To achieve orgasm through phone sex

Amy was suddenly alarmed that her telephonic relief may have awakened her parents down the hall.

by Felicity Church June 5, 2009

Telephrenia

The feeling you get while flipping through the television channels, stopping briefly on each one, and hearing logical sentences come out of it.

TV-"This is" (flip) "a great" (flip) "opportunity for this" (flip) "cheese sandwich" (flip) "and President Obama."

Guy1-"Did the tv just make a sentence out of random sound bites from different stations?"

Guy2- "Nah man, you just have a case of Telephrenia!"

by IamJLovegren November 13, 2010

Terminatrix Telephobia

A phobia in which the person has a paralyzing fear of answering the phone believing that it may cause him/her to exit The Matrix.

This is one of the more recent phobias that has come to light, with an obvious connection to the Matrix movie trilogy.

In these films people from the real world are able to "jack in" to the Matrix a ficitonal simulated version of Earth as it once was. These people then exit the Matrix via ringing telephones that their "operators" send them to. It can only be assumed that said operators stream a code of some sort into the ringing phone that allows people to break connection with the Matrix.

People with this phobia may also innately be afraid of large underground cave orgies

I don't hangout with James anymore because I can never get him on the phone to make plans. Ever since he saw The Matrix he's been afflicted with Terminatrix Telephobia.

I don't think he likes the idea of a world where Keanu Reeves is seen as the last bastion of hope.

by DameonTower April 16, 2011

telephonical

to be a part of something, like a group or something, only by telephone.

I am part of your gang telephonically, because I talk to your friends on the phone.

by Anna Trikyon August 25, 2008

telephonic jihad

1) When someone brings a holywar to you as they can't talk to you in person. 2) When incompetent graduate students are afraid to talk to you in person so they call instead.

Mohammed brought a telephonic jihad to me this morning, wish he'd just come over

by Bubba-that guy February 11, 2010