Stroudsburg is a place where your palistinian neighbors let their pitbull run free in the community so it can kill your cats. Also here in the 'burg' you call the cops to do something about this neighborhood menace and they ask to see your dead cat. You show him your mawled kitten and then he proceeds to ask you where the dog is. You tell him next door. So he goes and sees blood all over the dogs face and then leaves. Everyday i walk outside this dog is in my yard. I keep telling it that there is no more cats to eat because she killed them all,but she keeps coming back.
Stroudsburg is full of fake ass thugs(wankstas)and wiggers. It sucks don't go you'll regret it.
Stroudsburg is full of fake ass thugs(wankstas)and wiggers. It sucks don't go you'll regret it.
by Jacky March 27, 2005
Get the stroudsburg mug.A small town in eastern PA. There's something about the place that's eerily similar to a magnet. Once you're here, you're sort of stuck. Try to leave all you like-- meet a girl 40 miles away and move to her town to try and escape, move to a different state, or resign yourself-- it's all the same.
One would be remiss not to mention the atmosphere of Stroudsburg. Although one could point to the bustling night life that comes with the towns nauseating abundance of bars, Nothing encapsulates it better than the town's mall. A building of squandered and long since passed potential that just becomes more akin to a wasteland with each passing day.
The town's population is a hodgepodge of urbanites who moved here from the larger cities that would rather be back where they came from and the common Pennsylvanian yokel who see no wrong with where they reside. However, the townsfolk have already found who they like and don't like.
All in all, Stroudsburg is a small augean stable with the tired and clear facade of a wonderful place to live. There's a smell that permeates the area like a gaseous haze and none who live here would say it's pleasant. Broken sidewalks, townies, and a cemetery that everyone seems to have gotten fellatio at that's adjacent to the high school. That place sucks too. Run as far as you want, seek solace somewhere else. Stroudsburg will always be behind you.
One would be remiss not to mention the atmosphere of Stroudsburg. Although one could point to the bustling night life that comes with the towns nauseating abundance of bars, Nothing encapsulates it better than the town's mall. A building of squandered and long since passed potential that just becomes more akin to a wasteland with each passing day.
The town's population is a hodgepodge of urbanites who moved here from the larger cities that would rather be back where they came from and the common Pennsylvanian yokel who see no wrong with where they reside. However, the townsfolk have already found who they like and don't like.
All in all, Stroudsburg is a small augean stable with the tired and clear facade of a wonderful place to live. There's a smell that permeates the area like a gaseous haze and none who live here would say it's pleasant. Broken sidewalks, townies, and a cemetery that everyone seems to have gotten fellatio at that's adjacent to the high school. That place sucks too. Run as far as you want, seek solace somewhere else. Stroudsburg will always be behind you.
"Stroudsburg was not where I meant to spend the rest of my life, but for some reason it still calls to me. Hey... you wanna smoke later and walk on main street while complaining about how stuck we are?"
by Elf-Head January 17, 2023
Get the Stroudsburg mug.The self-proclaimed "Pride of the Poconos," Stroudsburg High School is famous for many things, including its lunchroom staff, who currently collectively hold the world record for fitting the largest sticks possible up their asses, its splendid security staff, whose captain won this year's Greased Pig Contest (although he soon realized it wasn't a pig, it was actually one of the other security officers), its highly nutritional and incredibly delicious lunches, consisting mostly of greasy, overcooked pizzas and calzones, and half-heartedly assembled hoagies (although, by the way the ham tastes, it would appear that they used the pig from that contest listed above to make them), its nursing staff's incredible ability to cure any illness or injury with ice (not their fault, they're not allowed to give out anything else), and most importantly of all, its incredible climate control, enabling the history hallway to be a sauna, while the science wing can be magically transformed into wetlands overnight. Oh, and did I forget to mention the new classrooms? Yes, they brought them in on the back of a few flat-bed trucks, and now they sit in the parking lots, taking up valuable parking space that the school board is always griping about not having. ...They're also the only rooms in the school that have air conditioning. Doesn't this all make you wish you went here?
We love Stroudsburg High School...
Lunch Monitor: "Show me your pass."
Innocent Student: "I show you a pass every day. Can't you trust that I have one?"
Lunch Monitor: "Show me your pass."
Innocent Student: "You saw it yesterday, it was filled out for the entire week."
Lunch Monitor: "Show me your pass."
Innocent Student: "I have showed you a pass every single day since the beginning of the school year. It is now March. Don't you trust I have it?"
Lunch Monitor: "Show me your pass, or sit back down and shut up."
Security Officer: "Yep. I've been workin' this here job for goin' on fifteen years. I've seen it all."
Student: *Takes bite of hamburger* *CLINK!*
Student: "Oh, God, I'm vomiting blood! I can't control it, it - it's everywhere! Oh my God, do something - is that a lung?! Is that a lung?!?!?! THAT'S A LUNG!!! HELP ME!!!"
Nurse: "Well, I really wish I could do more, but would you like some ice?"
Student: "For the love of God, call an ambulance!!! Please, just -" *glurgglurgleglurg...*
Nurse: "You know, I better make this a double pack."
Student: *Opens locker in science hallway, finds strange tropical fungus growing on english book* "What the..."
Principal: "What's going on in the history wing? I haven't heard anything from them up there in weeks."
Teacher: *Goes to investigate* "What on earth?... Oh, dear God, they've all fried to death, how could this have - oh, no, the sun's coming out!!! Run, children, run, before it's too latearghgaslfjakslf..."
Principal: "Where are Modulars 1 and 2?!"
Teacher: "Um... They're... Kind of... in the creek."
Principal: "...WHAT?!"
Teacher: "Well, maybe it wasn't such a good idea to get separate classrooms that people can tow away as a senior prank..."
Lunch Monitor: "Show me your pass."
Innocent Student: "I show you a pass every day. Can't you trust that I have one?"
Lunch Monitor: "Show me your pass."
Innocent Student: "You saw it yesterday, it was filled out for the entire week."
Lunch Monitor: "Show me your pass."
Innocent Student: "I have showed you a pass every single day since the beginning of the school year. It is now March. Don't you trust I have it?"
Lunch Monitor: "Show me your pass, or sit back down and shut up."
Security Officer: "Yep. I've been workin' this here job for goin' on fifteen years. I've seen it all."
Student: *Takes bite of hamburger* *CLINK!*
Student: "Oh, God, I'm vomiting blood! I can't control it, it - it's everywhere! Oh my God, do something - is that a lung?! Is that a lung?!?!?! THAT'S A LUNG!!! HELP ME!!!"
Nurse: "Well, I really wish I could do more, but would you like some ice?"
Student: "For the love of God, call an ambulance!!! Please, just -" *glurgglurgleglurg...*
Nurse: "You know, I better make this a double pack."
Student: *Opens locker in science hallway, finds strange tropical fungus growing on english book* "What the..."
Principal: "What's going on in the history wing? I haven't heard anything from them up there in weeks."
Teacher: *Goes to investigate* "What on earth?... Oh, dear God, they've all fried to death, how could this have - oh, no, the sun's coming out!!! Run, children, run, before it's too latearghgaslfjakslf..."
Principal: "Where are Modulars 1 and 2?!"
Teacher: "Um... They're... Kind of... in the creek."
Principal: "...WHAT?!"
Teacher: "Well, maybe it wasn't such a good idea to get separate classrooms that people can tow away as a senior prank..."
by Concerned Member of the Class of 'O8 July 22, 2006
Get the stroudsburg high school mug.UPDATE: OCTOBER 2008
The last this writer saw of the school, pandemonium reigned supreme over any attempts at control that may or may not have been attempted by the faculty and staff.
Two lockdowns in two years in response to terrorist threats of squirrel hunting have provoked a new, pseudo-uniform dress code in an attempt to get the kids to settle down and focus on learning. The kids, being kids, found this to be a travesty on par with slavery and the Holocaust, and retaliated with sullen replies of "this sucks" and "I don't wanna wear no stupid-a** uniforms." The administration responded by cracking down on the dress code. They let everyone know that "slate" is not an acceptable color for pants, ONLY BLACK!!! Also, they were kind enough to simplify people's lives by making sure they only had to wear shoes with one color! Anyone who dares to wear shoes with different color shoelaces, or a different color sole than the rest of the shoe will be punished like the commies they are!!!
Don't worry, the culprits of these acts were properly sentenced - I mean, reprimanded.
Additionally, the existence of a padded room in one of the middle schools was recently revealed. One can only imagine what must be going on in there to warrant a padded room for 9 year olds.
This reporter regrets to inform you they are no longer able to be on the front lines, having matriculated, but contacts on the inside are getting news out. Don't worry, Stroudsburgians! There's hope.
There's always hope.
The last this writer saw of the school, pandemonium reigned supreme over any attempts at control that may or may not have been attempted by the faculty and staff.
Two lockdowns in two years in response to terrorist threats of squirrel hunting have provoked a new, pseudo-uniform dress code in an attempt to get the kids to settle down and focus on learning. The kids, being kids, found this to be a travesty on par with slavery and the Holocaust, and retaliated with sullen replies of "this sucks" and "I don't wanna wear no stupid-a** uniforms." The administration responded by cracking down on the dress code. They let everyone know that "slate" is not an acceptable color for pants, ONLY BLACK!!! Also, they were kind enough to simplify people's lives by making sure they only had to wear shoes with one color! Anyone who dares to wear shoes with different color shoelaces, or a different color sole than the rest of the shoe will be punished like the commies they are!!!
Don't worry, the culprits of these acts were properly sentenced - I mean, reprimanded.
Additionally, the existence of a padded room in one of the middle schools was recently revealed. One can only imagine what must be going on in there to warrant a padded room for 9 year olds.
This reporter regrets to inform you they are no longer able to be on the front lines, having matriculated, but contacts on the inside are getting news out. Don't worry, Stroudsburgians! There's hope.
There's always hope.
by Wearing whatever they please February 27, 2009
Get the Stroudsburg High School mug.An ass backwards town in Monroe County, Pennsylvania for several centuries and counting with an interesting mix of locals who work for peanuts and have no health insurance, they can usually be found at the Cinder Inn wondering why they are getting priced out of the area. Deeper thinkers here often ponder why outsiders are moving in before realizing someone with a backhoe decided to put a major highway through the center of town awhile back.
You'll also find legions of newer residents from the greater New York City area, many of whom are minorities that commute to the city and make real money, keeping the local bus company, Martz' share holders smiling in the process. Don't bother to subscribe to the local newspaper, the Pocono Record, which should only be purchased in a pinch if your training small pets and desperately need a piddle pad.
School taxes are way high since everyone tries to get friends and neighbors a job with the corrupt school board, where they do very little while making a killing, cranking out some of the dumbest seniors in the western hemisphere; insuring the Walmart in town is always staffed with a full supply of talent. You can always move here since there's plenty of foreclosures in countless developments to insure any unfortunate potential home buyers with a minimal down payment and pulse there very own Pocono dream home/nightmare in northeast PA.
You'll also find legions of newer residents from the greater New York City area, many of whom are minorities that commute to the city and make real money, keeping the local bus company, Martz' share holders smiling in the process. Don't bother to subscribe to the local newspaper, the Pocono Record, which should only be purchased in a pinch if your training small pets and desperately need a piddle pad.
School taxes are way high since everyone tries to get friends and neighbors a job with the corrupt school board, where they do very little while making a killing, cranking out some of the dumbest seniors in the western hemisphere; insuring the Walmart in town is always staffed with a full supply of talent. You can always move here since there's plenty of foreclosures in countless developments to insure any unfortunate potential home buyers with a minimal down payment and pulse there very own Pocono dream home/nightmare in northeast PA.
Resident #1: East Stroudsburg is a corrupt, sorry excuse for a town.
Resident #2: It could always be worse, you could've been born here.
Resident #2: It could always be worse, you could've been born here.
by sphinx70 April 22, 2011
Get the East Stroudsburg mug.Person 1:Did you hear about that trailer at East Stroudsburg South?
Person 2: Hell yeah, what a bunch of dumbasses!
Person 2: Hell yeah, what a bunch of dumbasses!
by Waffuhl August 5, 2009
Get the East Stroudsburg South mug.probably one of the whackest towns you will ever have the displeasure of being in or hearing of. its small and has way too many people in it because everyone from NY insists on moving here. dont bother driving anywhere on the weekends...theres too many tourists causing mad traffic. its either filled with a) dirty ass icp dirtbags who live for sitting outside the mall on friday nights b) "minorities" who actually put some excitement in the newspaper but arent minorities anymore c) hicks...enough said or d) skanky ass dirty std having little smuts. its boring as fuck so everyone does the same shit....drink, smoke, or fuck. and then the 5.0 stay up our ass but its not our fault there aint shit else to do. besides go to walmart....or the excitment filled stroud mall. STOP COMING HERE MOTHER FUCKERS!
by bitchBETCHbitch March 11, 2009
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