Remember how Stretch Armstrong worked? Getting a Stretch Armstrong is when your lame ass gets totally crucified by your sister in Fantasy Football so bad that it feels like she pulled your arms out of the socket until the icky goo inside you oozed out.
Wow! Adam's sister really gave him a Stretch Armstrong this week...117 to 49! What a pickle smoocher!
by Amherst CFB's September 11, 2006
Get the Stretch Armstrong mug.1. Your cock returns to its original shape after being stretched or twisted in a particularly nasty fashion.
2. You pull too hard and your dick rips apart.
2. You pull too hard and your dick rips apart.
1.
Person 1: Okay, honey, you can open your eyes now.
Person 2: Jesus, love, what've you done to it?!
Person 1: Relax. Pop a Stretch Armstrong; you'll be fine.
2.
Person 1: Where's Gin?
Person 2: Emergency room.
Person 1: WTF?
Person 2: Yeah, he popped a Stretch Armstrong.
Person 1: Jesus.
Person 2: Yeah.
Person 1: Okay, honey, you can open your eyes now.
Person 2: Jesus, love, what've you done to it?!
Person 1: Relax. Pop a Stretch Armstrong; you'll be fine.
2.
Person 1: Where's Gin?
Person 2: Emergency room.
Person 1: WTF?
Person 2: Yeah, he popped a Stretch Armstrong.
Person 1: Jesus.
Person 2: Yeah.
by Gel-filled action figure September 8, 2010
Get the Pop a Stretch Armstrong mug.Related Words
by ace November 6, 2003
Get the stretch arm strong mug.(SHSJ)- Typically a male with medium to long hair and a thin , patchy mustache. Goons to hentai and insta reels. LIVES on his computer. Will message first but begins growing distant after you message back.
He WILL ask why you like why you do, when you ask him to clarify he send back “why you like, why you do”. NEVER attempt to make a joke outside his “humor”.
His “humor” includes:
young children/infants get injured in various ways.
Women sitting on cake
Sexual jokes-especially to people younger than him
He spends his days scrolling Instagram, finding young women to DM. If said women continue to DM him outside his designated Instagram IM time.
Be warned, if you try to open up to him about on going harassment from men of whom are significantly older, he WILL tell you-
“You’re not being harassed, you’re just uncomfortable.”
HE IS DANGEROUS. DO NOT ENGAGE.
Theodore, come home the kids miss you.
He WILL ask why you like why you do, when you ask him to clarify he send back “why you like, why you do”. NEVER attempt to make a joke outside his “humor”.
His “humor” includes:
young children/infants get injured in various ways.
Women sitting on cake
Sexual jokes-especially to people younger than him
He spends his days scrolling Instagram, finding young women to DM. If said women continue to DM him outside his designated Instagram IM time.
Be warned, if you try to open up to him about on going harassment from men of whom are significantly older, he WILL tell you-
“You’re not being harassed, you’re just uncomfortable.”
HE IS DANGEROUS. DO NOT ENGAGE.
Theodore, come home the kids miss you.
There are currently ELEVEN Stretch Harmstrong Junior’s in the world. ZERO of which use shampoo :(. OnlY FOURTEEN can co-exist at a time. Abraham LINCOLN was a SHSJ, especially when he visited HAGERSTOWN.
by Str8OuttaChiraq June 29, 2025
Get the Stretch Harmstrong Junior mug.