Sicksturbate

Masturbating, usually multiple times a day, while one is ill in hopes the orgasmic stimulation will help oneself feel better and pass the time while on the road to recovery.

When I had the flu last year, every joint in my body ached. But I would sicksturbate ten times a day for two weeks and felt much better.

by Dick Onchin October 22, 2020

shisturbate

To masturbate while taking a massive shit.

Last night, I became aroused while taking a shit, but since I was so pressed for time, I decided to shisturbate.

by THE SHLEEPER August 7, 2009

Sexturbates

When you are forced to masturbate after sending a sexually explicit text to someone that is ignored.

Kristin- 'What up sexy Steven...I so wish you were here right now to *blank* my *blankety* *blank*...I want you so effin' bad right now'
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After checking her phone for the umpteenth time and pattin' herself on the back for being so hot and sexy, Kristin gives in and sexturbates.

by kffluffy August 5, 2010

Simsturbation

When porn just doesn't seem to cut it anymore...

Omenchild: Yeah Garrett jacks off to Sims.

Sawyer: Ewwww gross!

Garrett: It's just Simsturbation.

Omenchild: Oh well in that case it's fine.

by -[GAREBEAR]- July 28, 2009

Sadsturbate

When you cry while masturbating. Usually occurs on a Saturday night after realizing that you'll die alone.

Realized I'll never find true love and decided to sadsturbate the pain and emotional turmoil away.

by Uncle Steve The Crack Addict October 15, 2017

Snasturbate

Jerking off and sharting yourself at the same time at high velocities

Bro last night was so crazy, me and a girl snasturbated together

by BananaBoi1 September 22, 2017

Sadsturbate

Something emo kids do in the dark in their room after breaking up with their boyfriend (all emo boys are gay) for the eighth time that week.
The process involves crying profusely and masturbating simultaneously, using the tears as lube.
This has been shown to cause cancer in laboratory animals.

Shane's such a little bitch, he sadsturbates in his room. His dick is covered in mascara.

by Addison Trent January 16, 2009