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Wank My Schmeat

When you are in a hurry to get to your grandmother's funeral and you have to quickly bust one out in the Loaf-n-Jug stall whilst one other man is next to you in the urinal enjoying the sweet harmony of your grunts and wheezes.
Oh no! It's my grandma's funeral! I better wank my schmeat to replace the whipped cream on the pie for later!
by Your Mom's Gay February 2, 2019
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Schmeater

I word used in rating a monstrous mega schlong ding dong by Mr. Mulch#8605
Nice Schmeater
by Skyeetee August 18, 2021
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schmasted

Combined from both "shit faced" and "wasted" into one word for enjoyment.
by Anonymous March 3, 2003
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my homie's schmeat

when your homie kisses you goodnight and you succ his schmeat as an act of kindness
Yo, lemme succ your schmeat
ayt first lemme kiss you good night
I succed my homie's schmeat las night
by My homie's schmeat February 12, 2018
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Schmeat

A below average penis, with one exception. If the schmeat is attached to a Knowlsey it refers to a penis so huge it changes the atmospheric pressure of any room it's in.
I can barely breathe with Knowlsey's schmeat in here
by Captaindownloadboner June 15, 2019
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Schmasterbation

The act of helping an elderly person across the street.
"Today, I schmasterbated my neighbor."

"A boy scout recieved his "Civil Service" Merit Badge after schmasterbating 40 times in one day."

"Everyone should set time aside for schmasterbation at least once an hour."
by CE Time Wasters November 3, 2011
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flapper schmeat

Flapper schmeat is the outer lips of a vagina that are so unbelievably used that they jiggle when she walks, commonly smells like the heat coming from the back of a ps4.

And no, don’t mistake them for an outtie vagina. Because Flapper schmeats are the dirty discharge caked skin flaps that are usually so filthy they have turned brown.

If you’re a dirty crackwhore, i’m sure you have some schmeats yourself.
Girl 1: Ugh i can’t believe ayden cheated on me
Girl 2: Omg with who?
Girl 1: With MYA!! she probably has flapper schmeats
Girl 2: Eww!
by dumibunni October 5, 2020
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