A very powerful man, one so powerful he beats his three wives for fun. Has hair the likes one has never seen; it resembles matted down beaver hair that never moves, even when fighting on top of a train or running around in the Alaskan wilderness. Currently weighing in at a cool 400 pounds, he doesn't have to actually fight anymore, just wave his hands and all have broken necks or arms. He dresses to kill in all black, which does not hide his bulky ass. No acting skills are required; all that is needed is to have a dick in your throat and be able to mumble "Mission Accomplished". In order to kill like Seagal, you must be able to slide for 20 minutes without a running start and shoot your enemies at the same time, even on the flatest of surfaces. (No reloading is required, your ammo is endless).
Every movie is made with his character having the name "John", "Jack", or "Casey". In order to write a plot for a Seagal movie, all you must do is have him a) be a cop, b) a mercenary or c) an ex-serviceman. Then Seagal must either save a sub, a town, a nuclear warhead, the environment, or all of the above. He must do battle with Columbian druglords, terrorists, or environmental evildoers. Then Seagal ultimately saves the day, and ends the movie with a snazzy one-liner. While the credits are rolling, you could have him strumming one of his guitars, and singing a jaunty little number.
Every movie is made with his character having the name "John", "Jack", or "Casey". In order to write a plot for a Seagal movie, all you must do is have him a) be a cop, b) a mercenary or c) an ex-serviceman. Then Seagal must either save a sub, a town, a nuclear warhead, the environment, or all of the above. He must do battle with Columbian druglords, terrorists, or environmental evildoers. Then Seagal ultimately saves the day, and ends the movie with a snazzy one-liner. While the credits are rolling, you could have him strumming one of his guitars, and singing a jaunty little number.
I totally Steven Seagalled that guy; Mission Accomplished.
I am Steven Seagal...someone has to take out the garbage.
I tried it with my girlfriend, she said "mission accomplished, all the way in".
I am Steven Seagal...someone has to take out the garbage.
I tried it with my girlfriend, she said "mission accomplished, all the way in".
by Mandy Broad September 22, 2007
Get the Steven Seagal mug.meaning 'cool' in hebrew, but slowly, in my opinion, should become incorporated into the english language.
no worries. sebaba!
by sheisntit March 6, 2009
Get the Sebaba mug.1. to grow one's hair out and tie it into an oily pony tail.
2. to use a pool ball as a weapon in a bar fight.
2. to use a pool ball as a weapon in a bar fight.
1. "Did you see Spencer's hair? He really went Full Seagal"
2. "Wow, did you see what Candace did at that bar fight? She went Full Seagal on those guys!"
2. "Wow, did you see what Candace did at that bar fight? She went Full Seagal on those guys!"
by LaunchPadMcQuack69 February 18, 2015
Get the Full Seagal mug.A modified vegan who also eats seafood. Distinguished from a pescetarian in that they do not eat eggs or dairy.
Yo...do we have any vegans coming to the BBQ?
No...I think they are all seagans now so as long as you aren't using butter on the shrimp kabobs we are cool.
No...I think they are all seagans now so as long as you aren't using butter on the shrimp kabobs we are cool.
by Mike.... December 26, 2007
Get the Seagan mug.Its when your poundin a girl on the beach and you pull out and stick your junk in the sand and go back in to complete it.
by anthony (twan) April 24, 2008
Get the screaming seagal mug.Jim, can you mow the yard?
Leave me alone, I'm watching Marked for Death.
You're such a Seagalologist!
Leave me alone, I'm watching Marked for Death.
You're such a Seagalologist!
by B. Patterson August 30, 2009
Get the Seagalologist mug.Three dudes pretending to go on a smoke break and instead perform unspeakable sexual acts on each other.
by NeuNaziNein June 27, 2017
Get the Sebago mug.