last chicken on the shelf

a word to describe someone who is very unattractive, who no one wants to date... a minger
the last person anyone would go out with

alan looks like the last chicken on the shelf!

by Rambo's mum October 18, 2007

Belt On The Shelf

A Weapon Used In Psychological Warfare In The Early 80's & 90's.

The Urban Version On Elf On The Shelf, Used To Persuade Kids Into Good Behavior.
The Mere Sight Of It Drove Fear Into The Hearts Of Every Boy & Girl.

Made Mostly Of Top Grade Leather, Although Synthetic Fabrics

Or Vinyl Was Always An Exceptable Substitute. The Silent Babysitter.

Originated In New Bedford Massachusetts By Cape Verdean People !

" Stop it, Momma Is Not Playing With Us You Big Dummy, Don't You See That BELT ON THE SHELF ? "

by Outlaw City Graffix © March 21, 2016

Elf on the Shelf

An extraordinarily stupid holiday tradition practiced by white, suburb-dwelling families which involves "hiding" a creepy doll somewhere in the house, for their young children to find. This may seem innocent enough, but the real motive behind this fad is to attempt to control the offspring's behavior through the threat of the Elf telling Santa Claus of the misdeeds they committed under the omnipotent surveillance of the Elf. A adult satire of this is Whore in the Drawer, simply replacing the Elf with a scantily clothed Barbie doll, and the shelf with a cabinet or drawer.

Wife: Jim, did you hide the Elf on the Shelf
Husband: No Carol, for fuck's sake, I told you it gives me the willies.

by bonquequeg March 17, 2016

elf on the shelf

A very creepy tradition perpetrated by adults around children of young ages. The legend goes that the elf on the shelf is hidden and watches the children and then reports back to Santa with his findings. In a nutshell, this is Santa's NSA, with less phone taps. Although this may seem a jocular activity to keep your offspring in line, it actually is a pervy way to watch over your kids, using the threat of not receiving gifts during the holiday season. The adult version of this practice is not-so-subtly named whore in a drawer

Dad 1: Hey Rick did you hide the elf on the shelf for little bobby and Susie this year?
Dad 2: Hell yeah I did, Arty. I put it in the bathroom so my kids will shit bricks.

by canned_laughs August 18, 2016

Elf on the Shelf

When the penis rests perfectly on a large pair of balls

Saw this guy on come out of the pool with an elf on the shelf.

by anonymous July 17, 2021

The last chicken on the shelf

An act where a male pulls his penis so high his scrotum looks like a scrawny chicken usually performed as a party trick

Never perform the last chicken on the shelf at weddings, funerals or childrens parties...

by Gilly1982 October 6, 2010

the last chicken on the shelf

Someone who is the last person yew would even ever consider going out with

Sally:How about alan? would yew go out with alan?
Lene:OMG thats so unattractive alan, he looks like the last chicken on the shelf!

by Rambo's nan March 31, 2008