NEWSPAPER 

Never Eat Wet Soggy Pussy And Poop Especially Rare

Torrey, NEWSPAPER... please, unless you want to.

NEWSPAPER by Cshady2424 September 22, 2020

newspaper head 

Someone who sits with a newspaper in front of their head instead of paying attention to the suroundings.

"hey dude check out that newspaper head over there"

newspaper head by JD dudemaster March 5, 2010

Newspaper Bag Swag

When you bring your lunch to school using a newspaper bag to contain it

"Hey Charlie! Can I read the comic section"
"Well actually Claire that would be my sandwich"
"Wow Charlie, You have so much Newspaper Bag Swag!"

Newspaper Bag Swag by ClaireBear600 November 7, 2011

Newspaper Carrier 

Person who gets up at o-dark-thirty and throws newspapers out of a car while driving in circles. Cranky until sleep is had.

Please, tip your newspaper carrier!

Newspaper Carrier by Apryle October 17, 2008

Newspaper Jockey 

A streetside newspaper vending machine.

Bryon tried to hurdle the newspaper jockey last night when he left the bar.

Newspaper Jockey by Gard May 27, 2007

newspaper condom 

The plastic bag that your newspaper is delivered in, usually in times of inclement weather.

Mary saw it was raining outside and exclaimed, "Oh fuck! My newspaper is going to be ruined." However when she retrieved her paper, she noticed that the delievery boy had wrapped it in 2 newspaper condoms, keeping the paper dry and readable!

newspaper condom by Wordmaster Adam April 12, 2013

newspaper job 

Spending a prolonged amount of time in the bathroom taking a shit. Called a "newspaper job" because one commonly takes the paper along with them to read as they sit on the toilet

I ate so much for lunch that I know I'll have to do a newspaper job this afternoon.

newspaper job by Libertine October 4, 2005