Play with my Monkey

Self gratification, to masturbate with ones self,male or female,play with my monkey

Damn that girl is hot,hang on a minute buddy,I'm going to go "Play with my Monkey" real quick!!

by Bad Ass Mr.Clyde May 28, 2018

fuck my monkey

1. Yet another exclaimation of extreme disappointment. Usually uttered after a disheartending discovery.

2. Used in place of "I'll be!", or "you are kidding me".

"You dumped a bowl of icecream on the carpet?? Aw, fuck my monkey!"

"Well, fucky my monkey.... I just saw my cousin on TV!"

by towanda March 23, 2005

Dropped my monkey

A cloak and dagger expression to indicate that a girl is incredibly hot. A tribute to Barry in Beerfest who sees a gorgeous girl and exclaims “I think I dropped my monkey”. Useful as can be said in front of said bombshell without suspicion.

“Ooh, I think I dropped my monkey!”
“I was watching beach volleyball. Kept dropping my monkey”

by Biggg G August 12, 2020

not my monkey not my shit show

Lol

not my monkey not my shit show: what are monkeys in cages notoriously known for?
Monkey: *throwing shit*
Me: not my monkey not my shitshow
Or
Friend1: *got stabbed by their dog or smth*
Friend2: not my monkey, not my shit show

by The Obvious Expert Of All Thin September 5, 2023

pet my monkey

What horndogs like myself do to pass the time when no one is around.

I am so fuckin' thick down below...I just love to pet my monkey all the time.
See also spanking the monkey

by lawnmowerman October 29, 2004

spanking my monkey

When a male, or transvestite *cough Caitlin jenner* decides to get a little wish in there pants and wants to take themselves to horn dog town, they beat their meat. And when someone beats they meat it is called spanking their monkey

Man I was on her insta and I just whipped it out and started spanking my monkey

by deeznoots June 10, 2016

Not my monkey, not my circus

Not my problem and I don't f*ing care anyways.

Use the phrase not my monkey, not my circus when someone asks you for example, your opinion about Nostradamus or other meaningless, to you, nonsense. The phrase was first used by this guy Gavi who once worked with me.

by Sexydimma December 28, 2022