masticate

To grind or chew. It sounds like masturbate so dumb fucks who are too lazy to figure out its real definition assume it means masturbate. It's a funny word and has power.

I masticated my food.

by w00tw00t April 5, 2003

Masturdate

To take oneself out when one has no date

I couldn't find anyone to go out with me, so I decided to masturdate. I took myself out for dinner and a movie.

by MicklePickle January 4, 2015

masturbate

What guys do all the time and girls never admit to doing.

Guy: Come on, everyone does it. Don't be ashamed to admit you masturbate.
Girl: Ew gross, I would never touch myself.

by Peopleplz June 7, 2009

mastacate

means to consume/eat food.

I can't talk right now. I have to mastacate.

by GurnMon October 10, 2005

Mastawate

Waiting to masturbate, waiting for the chance to masturbate, or waiting for pornography to load so you can take a swing at your junk.

I wanted to jerk off, but i mastawated for like an hour before my mom was done using the computer.

by Mr. Puckett February 26, 2011

masturhater

a person who strongly dislikes masturbation

"hey lila wanna masturbate tonight?"

"nah im a masturhater"

by squatfucker420 January 29, 2017

stress masturbate

When one engages in vigorous masturbation as a means of immediate stress relief.

After he was asked to re-do the assignment, Bryce went to stress masturbate before getting down to work.

by Williamsburg Rabbi February 9, 2015