A man who can do more with one testicle than most could do with a pair.
Lance Armstrong rides his bike fast. With one testicle.
by captain kirks number 2 bowl October 12, 2005
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A great but overrated cyclist. Seven Time winner of the Tour De France. Often called the greatest cyclist ever by passive American cycling fans that have never heard of Eddy Merckx, Bernard Hinault, Fausto Coppi or Miguel Indurain. Merckx and many others went on to race in hundreds of races while Armstrong focused on the Tour. His only other races were often training for the Tour at Tour de Georgia or Dauphiné Libéré. Merckx raced every race to win. Lance often was just training for the tour and along with his contemporaries would not take the risk seen in the Coppi-Merckx Era.
LA Fan: Lance Armstrong is the greatest cyclist ever!

Reality: No way dude. Eddy Merckx or Coppi.

LA fan. Who? you're crazy!

Facts: Merckx! Cycling was around before 1999. Merckx won 525 races and won the Giro D' Italia and Tour de France five times. Lance only talked about racing the Giro. Never even showed and has never ridden in most of the Classics like Paris-Roubaix which Merckx won three times. Also never attempted the Hour Record as he hinted on for years. A record for which Merckx is the standard.

LA fan: But Lance won the Tour De Georgia.

Reality: Dumbass!

by Paris-Roubaix January 28, 2008
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When a girl gives a guy head when she has plutonium in her mouth.
Man, I wish I didn't have to go in for this ball surgery tomorrow. Damn hooker tricked me and gave me a Lance Armstrong!
by Joshe December 1, 2006
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Instead of talking to Cindy Sheehan last week, Geroge went out on the bike trail for 2 hours with Lance Armstrong.
by Sierra Nolan August 21, 2005
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a term used for the purchace of a half sack of weed.
Tommy:"hey man im all out, can i get a lance armstrong?"
Shawn: "yea dude. Stop smoking all your shit so quick!"
Tommy: "Some one should of told that to Michael Phelps!"
by DrgDlr420xx September 10, 2009
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An excellent Tour de France rider but one whom has done little or none to help make competitive cycling popular. Not quite eddy.
I will catch you and defame you Simeoni! - Lance Armstrong
by chiquita banana 7787 January 21, 2006
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