heskey

silly northern twat

"oooh aye"

by al3c March 26, 2003

Heskey Rule

The age old FIFA/Pro Evo rule that any goal scored by Emile Heskey is equivalent to 6 goals scored by anyone else, except for George Elokobi, who's goals are worth 19.

In the event that both Heskey and Elokobi score in a single match, "blump saturation" occurs and the rule is nullified.

Ben: "What a screamer by Heskey! By means of the Heskey Rule i'm winning 6-1!"

Jordan: "You have forgotten that my goal was scored by Elokobi, therefore the score is 1-1"

by Nickolobi January 23, 2010

Heskey time

The act of either;
a) Rape
b) Missing a goal (in football/soccer) by a ridiculous distance, or
c) impersonating the best player ever to have lived; Emile Heskey.

Also, a rap by Randolph, featuring KSIOlajideBT

Randolph: And don't even get me started on his head, when he puts it down and gives you those eyes, you know it's...

KSI: HESKEY TIME! BITCH I'M HESKEY, YOU DON'T WANNA MESS WITH ME, IF YOU DO, YOU'RE GONNA BE MY NEXT ANAL RECIPE. I'M TOO QUICK FOR THE SEX OFFENDERS LIST, I BE OVER THAT, WHEN I SET MY EYES ON YOU THERE'S NO ESCAPE, YOU KNOW THAT!

or

Player A runs up to goal and shoots wide.

Player B: Looks like it's Heskey time again!

by THE HESK May 26, 2012

emile heskey

The ChucK Noris of football

Oh look, Emile Heskey has put it in row Z!

by The British Jesus April 07, 2014

come heskey

Look how hungry the rats are bro, heskey’s not even assed

Come heskey, that thing is hungry

by Anonymous Bread Batcher June 22, 2022

emille heskey

a large mammal of unknown origin, who comes off as a human being due to its ability to play football (can also be described as a deadly weapon)

he was so agile yet so big that he looked like an emille heskey

by karbas May 19, 2012

dirty heskey

if you get a tit wank from someone called gabby that has big boobies, that’s a dirty heskey.

here i just done a dirty heskey, don’t tell skinners.

by wadyitalkinabeet April 07, 2020