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Guidosis

A condition caused by watching too much Jersey Shore or going to clubs infested with too many guidos and guidettes. Similar to zombie-ism. Orange spray tan may rub off on you, you may find yourself doing the guido first pump, turning up your collar on your white shirt, talking like a douche or picking up skanky bleached blondes or guidettes.
One dude to another: I have a ranging hangover and I woke up with my bluetooth in my ear and there was orange spray tan on my white shirt and the collar was up! WTF!!

Another: We can never go to that club again. You've got guidosis. Jump in the shower and scrub down now!
by sarasplayroom.com October 19, 2010
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Guido Pubes

Well trimmed male genital area, similar to Puerto Rican Pubes
After her date with Tony, Maria was thankful he had Guido Pubes because she hates hairy cock-n-balls.
by Gavin Rosdale March 6, 2010
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Related Words
Guiso Guisoyki Guido Guimo guish Guito Guilo gaison Guidoville Guino

Guido Kissy Face

A hallmark of Guido culture. It is the act of making a "kissy face" whenever a camera is nearby, annoying the hell out the picture taker, unless he or she subscribes to Guidoism and approves of such weird facial behavior.

This skill is inherent in the Guido genes, and thought by some to be an involuntary reaction to the sight of a camera. Typically it is accompanied by some hand gesture known only within the Guido culture.

For examples and images, I would direct you to the website hotchickswithdouchebags.com for a more comprehensive list of images.
"Oh my God, Mike is making that damn Guido Kissy Face again! He is ruining all of my pictures!"
by Mang Now! January 27, 2010
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Guido doorbell

Guidos, frequently too self important to actually get out of their cars, or even call someone when in front of the house, beep their horns to let the person inside know they have arrived. Perhaps they are under the assumption that everyone else on the block is deaf, or wants a good look at their all around dark tinted windows on a white BMW.
I wish that Dickhole would stop ringing the guido doorbell and just use his phone.
by Jan Warren January 24, 2008
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Guido coffin

Joe: "Shit that chick looks orange as hell"
Gavin: "Yeah, she must have spent to much time in the guido coffin"
by Leydeman February 17, 2008
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Chippewa Guido

A Western NY phenomena; the so-called "Chippewa Guido" represents an amalgamated term used to disparage a group of men who walk the line between homosexual and heterosexual and who frequent the ale houses along West Chippewa St. in Buffalo, NY. As the name implies, this group is represented by "men" of roughly Italian origin however, in recent years some of both Middle Eastern and Latino decent may also join their ranks based on considered adoption of meterosexual fashion.

A Chippewa Guido can be recognized by several key traits. The first is hair gel - the more the better. The second is that they are inordinately loud, and will scream at helpless televisions despite the fact that the people on the TV cannot hear them. Third, they talk about their sexual conquests incessantly.

As to mating, one or more Chippewa Guido's will often attempt to approach on a single lady or group of ladies and will then will attempt to enthrall them using a semi-erotic courtship display. The prevalence and success of such acts weather or not they result in coitus are used within the group establish pack-dominance.
Roger : I fucking hate this bar, it cost me 10$ to get in and the whole place is stuffed with sausage.

Helen : It's not as bad as you think look at the Chippewa Guido’s over there. I don't think they are a threat to you.

Roger : Your thinking sword fighting ?

Helen : I'm just saying. When men hook up, you win. I mean look at this place there are more men than women, but most of these dudes are probably going home together.

Roger : You make an excellent point, but I really don't like the way that Turkish dude is looking at my package. Let's get the fuck out of here.
by Darker January 21, 2010
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Guisella

The most beautiful girl in the world. She's too beautiful to be real, too funny to be real, to nice to be real, too real to be real.
She is a true friend inside and out and will knock out anyone who hurts those close to her.
She is any boys dream girlfriend. She will even make you a sandwich and play Call of Duty with you.
She is incredibly sexy and the best kisser in the world!
She is one of the funniest people you will ever meet. You are too lucky if you know a Guisella.
If you ever cross paths with her, cherish the time you have with her, she has a rare personality and heart. She is strong and unique.
"Hey, I met this girl today, her names Guisella."
"Dude can i have her number?"
by TheOneILove March 28, 2013
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