Skip to main content

Andrew Garfield

he is the most adorable sweet and funny human being on this earth. this man is the owner of everyone’s heart and he deserves the best.
who is that spider guy?? THAT IS ANDREW GARFIELD THE CUTES HUMAN ON EARTH
by leviosius July 14, 2021
mugGet the Andrew Garfield mug.

fluff your garfield

euphemism for masturbation, courtesy of ABC's "Whose Line is it, anyway?"
"I'll fluff your Garfield if you know what you mean."
by Euphysics May 13, 2005
mugGet the fluff your garfield mug.

Garfield snorkel

When a man sticks his ball's in a woman's mouth and slaps his cock across her face while the woman sucks in on the man's balls.
"Dude, I gave her the Garfield snorkel last night. My ball sack is so saggy."
by TheSnorkel January 18, 2008
mugGet the Garfield snorkel mug.

Garfield

Are you gonna praise Garfield today?
by Wolfking July 15, 2019
mugGet the Garfield mug.

Garfield Kart

A 3DS game from 2015 that was created by God himself. Ancient Byzantine empires held Garfield Kart on a golden pedestal, which caused many a global conflict. WW1 was actually caused when Archduke Franz Ferdinand came into a copy of Garfield Kart: Epic Jesus Corkscrew Edition, and Gavrilo Princip was like, "Oh hell nah, I'm finna kill this boi."
Jesus: Can I have video game making abilities to please our subjects?

God: Of course, son.

Jesus: *Actually makes Garfield Kart, which causes eternal turmoil*

Also Jesus: wOrLd WaR tImE.
by TheLastHomicide November 29, 2018
mugGet the Garfield Kart mug.

Garfield Sex Music

The freakiest, nastiest, and baddest music on the planet. Like Waka Flocka Flame, only a million times harder. Listening to it is the closest thing your ears can come to fucking. In fact, the soundwave this music makes is a big schlobbing dick, trolling for something to rub up against and cum all over. When white girls hear it, they immediately find the first guy they see and make him 1manDP her.

Don't even try to make it, only Andy Samberg, Jorma Taccone, and Akiva Schaffer can, and the only reason why is because they gave head to Ziggy Stardust, the eternal god of music, FOR 500 YEARS. But at least they get pussy all the time now.
Random Bitch: I love your Garfield sex music.
Kiv: Bitch, shut the fuck up and lick my nuts.
Random Bitch: But I can't see them!
Kiv: Yeah, cause they're the size of ovaries. Now do some more coke and keep licking

Jorma: Hey Arlene, let's fuck.
Arlene: But I'm a cat.
Jorma: Whatever (whips out his dick)
Arlene: YES! It's so small!

Andy: (Walking around with his dick out around New York City) Who wants to fuck me?
Jennifer Anniston: I do! I do! I'll do anything for sperm!

Andy: Let's do this, bitch. (Flips her over and 1manDPs her on top of the Empire State Building) Marmaduke, get in here! (Marmaduke sticks his dog dick in Jennifer's ass)

Jen: Double Anal! Yes!
Andy: (Pulls out, and cums all over her face.) Now that's Garfield Sex Music.
by Titus Blowhard May 9, 2011
mugGet the Garfield Sex Music mug.

garfield middle school

It sucks all the popular kids are rude and dumb. all the boys think they are hot but they are really gay. The 6th grade girls think think their sexy and hot but they haven't had their period yet or hit puberty. But theres air conditioning so that great. But the whole place so stupid. THE TEACHER ARE SECRETLY RAPISTS
by ANONYMOUS_PERSON_IN_GMS March 2, 2017
mugGet the garfield middle school mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email