3 definition by Titus Blowhard

Top Definition
A girl who gives really good head, but her very annoying personality slowly sucks away your soul.
Bro 1: Bro, Jasmine gives crazy head. Matty is so lucky.
Bro 2: No way bro, she's a dementor,

Bro 1: What does that mean?
Bro 2: It means she's fucking crazy.
Bro 1: Oh, that would it explain why Matty never wants to hang with us anymore.
by Titus Blowhard September 02, 2010

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The freakiest, nastiest, and baddest music on the planet. Like Waka Flocka Flame, only a million times harder. Listening to it is the closest thing your ears can come to fucking. In fact, the soundwave this music makes is a big schlobbing dick, trolling for something to rub up against and cum all over. When white girls hear it, they immediately find the first guy they see and make him 1manDP her.

Don't even try to make it, only Andy Samberg, Jorma Taccone, and Akiva Schaffer can, and the only reason why is because they gave head to Ziggy Stardust, the eternal god of music, FOR 500 YEARS. But at least they get pussy all the time now.
Random Bitch: I love your Garfield sex music.
Kiv: Bitch, shut the fuck up and lick my nuts.
Random Bitch: But I can't see them!
Kiv: Yeah, cause they're the size of ovaries. Now do some more coke and keep licking

Jorma: Hey Arlene, let's fuck.
Arlene: But I'm a cat.
Jorma: Whatever (whips out his dick)
Arlene: YES! It's so small!

Andy: (Walking around with his dick out around New York City) Who wants to fuck me?
Jennifer Anniston: I do! I do! I'll do anything for sperm!

Andy: Let's do this, bitch. (Flips her over and 1manDPs her on top of the Empire State Building) Marmaduke, get in here! (Marmaduke sticks his dog dick in Jennifer's ass)

Jen: Double Anal! Yes!
Andy: (Pulls out, and cums all over her face.) Now that's Garfield Sex Music.
by Titus Blowhard April 18, 2011

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Not quite catfished, because the girl in the pictures is real, real hot alright. She just lied about her age and she's not as old as you think.
Things were going great with Amanda, but I found out she guppied me, so I had to leave her because I can't be messing around with jailbait.
by Titus Blowhard December 03, 2015

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