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goolie-clencher

(Or, "ball clencher", "cheek clencher", or just "clencher" for short)

A bad or painful result. Similar to having one's goolies put in a vice. Can also mean a bad or painful result for someone else.
Glen: What's up dude?
Sandeep: My God. I followed our analyst recommendation and bought Enron bonds. They've just filed for Chapter 11 and there's no bid for the shit. I've just lost $35,000,000.
Glen: Wow, that is a Class A goolie-clencher. Think you'd better find a headhunter.

Mark: How did the Quantum Mechanics exam go?
John: Terrible. Question 2, you had to derive the magnetic moment of the electron from scratch!
Mark: WHAT? What a ball-clencher! That takes hours!

Duncan: Was that snotty kid we saw last year bowling his shite?
Josh: Yeah, first two balls I smacked him for six, and then the next one I drove it back over his head for four missing his head by about 2 inches ...
Duncan: Clench!
by mp666 March 4, 2010
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fart clencher

The act of building up intestinal gas and then creating a small passage between butt cheeks and realeasing the built up gases to create a very powerful and loud fart.
I released an incredibly powerful fart clencher in Brooks face.
by Keatswords June 23, 2014
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sphincter clencher

It means when something is a tense moment, your ass tightens up. So a 'close call' is called 'puckering your asshole'
"This project is really a sphincter clencher. I don't know if we're going to make it on time."
by 4tw March 28, 2008
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Pepper clencher

Before having sex with your girl, rub pepper on the pillow that your girl will be putting her face into. Once she sniffs it, she will sneeze and her snatch will tighten.
I rubbed some pepper on her pillow and her snatch tighten, known as the pepper clencher.
by whiteshoes from Hudson December 16, 2019
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Sheet Clencher

One who clenches the sheets when taking it up the ass
Krystain is a sheet clencher
by Nickilous October 19, 2005
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Butt Clencher

When I saw the hangover with my dad it was a real BC (butt clencher)
by John Thelampguy February 22, 2011
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Booty Clencher

When a event is so scary or nerve racking part of your natural reaction is to clench your booty as tight as you can. The events there selves are known as Booty Clenchers.

Part of our natural reaction because evolutionary cave mens booty’s were in danger of being violated when in danger by other horny cavemen so we now developed the ability to clench our booty while under any sort of stress. It’s ranked by biologist as your bodies most important defense mechanism.

Instead of saying that was Stressful or scary, you can instead say that was a Booty Clencher. It would convey the gravity of the situation you were in as well as how that situation made you feel with no further context needed.
*Ben and his friend Dover while playing Rainbow Six Siege *

Ben: “Wow bro that Rainbow Six Siege game was a close one. I thought we were about to lose but you clutched up.”

Dover: “I know bro, tell me about it, my booty was clenched the whole time.”

Ben: “What a Booty Clencher.”
by Gaseous Snake September 24, 2022
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