Nobody knows when, or how, but one day, that cheese mysteriously appeared on the blacktop.
Nobody knew who it belonged to.
Nobody touched it.
Nobody threw it away.
And so there it sat, growing more foul and powerful by the day.
Then one day, a kid named Darren Walsh made the biggest mistake of his life.
Darren touched the cheese!
Darren had the cheese touch!
is it a sexually transmitted disease? no. does it involve getting flashed by a middle aged man in an alley? no. is it the equivalent to going down on a hooker? not quite. but fuck man, it is still disgusting and trust me, you never want to find yourself suffering from the cheese touch.