A bunch of no-good thieving scumbags masquerading as a Telecomms company, BELGACOM is the largely state-owned Belgian quasi-monopoly internet, mobile and landline telephone outfit.
Employing over 16,000 ‘special’ children, Belgacom is internationally known for being the worse internet provider in the entire universe. A little old fashioned in ‘real’ countries, Belgacom persists with copper wire ADSL, a technology so old it is thought to have been invented by Jesus. It is understood the CEO’s office is stuck in a time vortex that convinces everyone inside that the year is 1608, hence no optical fibre.
Belgacom, or Belgacunt as it is widely known, makes you wait up to 500 years for an internet connection. Installation, which costs €149 and takes only 10 minutes, is performed by a fuckwit circus monkey.
The cretins on the customer hatred line (Belgacunt is well known for not having a 'support line'), only speak in daego. All other languages will be ignored. Well known for their rudeness, knowledge of their particular drawl is not required, as the only word that the cocky little marzipan dildos actually know is "non", which is the same in any language anyway.
Belgacunt was recently fined €500,000 for raising their prices without telling anyone, and the hope is that they will soon get fucked up by the EU commission, because in this day and age pubicly-owned telecomms companies are a bit old hat, particularly when the service is a little bit completely fucking abysmal!
Employing over 16,000 ‘special’ children, Belgacom is internationally known for being the worse internet provider in the entire universe. A little old fashioned in ‘real’ countries, Belgacom persists with copper wire ADSL, a technology so old it is thought to have been invented by Jesus. It is understood the CEO’s office is stuck in a time vortex that convinces everyone inside that the year is 1608, hence no optical fibre.
Belgacom, or Belgacunt as it is widely known, makes you wait up to 500 years for an internet connection. Installation, which costs €149 and takes only 10 minutes, is performed by a fuckwit circus monkey.
The cretins on the customer hatred line (Belgacunt is well known for not having a 'support line'), only speak in daego. All other languages will be ignored. Well known for their rudeness, knowledge of their particular drawl is not required, as the only word that the cocky little marzipan dildos actually know is "non", which is the same in any language anyway.
Belgacunt was recently fined €500,000 for raising their prices without telling anyone, and the hope is that they will soon get fucked up by the EU commission, because in this day and age pubicly-owned telecomms companies are a bit old hat, particularly when the service is a little bit completely fucking abysmal!
"Man, I'd sure like to get revenge on Belgacom for that €250 bill they sent me for the ten minutes work they did in my house! Maybe I'll abuse them on the internet until I get my money back"
"96% say they would fuck Belgacom. Fuck them, those arrogant, incompetent bastards. I hope they get soddomised by their own fixed-landlines."
"96% say they would fuck Belgacom. Fuck them, those arrogant, incompetent bastards. I hope they get soddomised by their own fixed-landlines."
by SoontobeaTelenetcustomer October 27, 2011
Get the Belgacom mug.Hi. My name is Belita
by Not ya business June 3, 2018
Get the belita mug.Related Words
beliga • beligamorph • Beligan Dip • beligar • beluga • beluga whale • Belgian Waffles • Belgian Dip • belgian • belial
by talk2me-JCH2 August 24, 2022
Get the belgard mug.This is a variation off of the boston pancake in which the male partner defecates upon the chest of the other participant. However, instead of using the bottocks to pat down the steaming pile of shit, the testicles are used in their place. After the testicles have been adequately smothered in said feces they are plopped generously into the eye sockets of the willing partner. Note that the penis is not important in this position, simply drape it over the participants forehead and leave it be.
Sally and I were feeling pretty frisky the other day in school and decided to break out the belgian binoculars to spice things up a bit.
by pseudonomical platypus September 1, 2013
Get the Belgian Binoculars mug.1. (b.505?-d.565) Byzantine military commander who suppressed the Nika Revolt, conquered Vandal North Africa, Sicilia, and Italy, and saved Constantinople from the Bulgarian Huns before being imprisoned on trumped-up charges of treason in 562.
From Wikipedia:
"Belisarius pretended to accept the offer, rode to Ravenna to be crowned, and promptly arrested the leaders of the Goths and reclaimed their entire kingdom - no halfway settlement - for Byzantium."
"Belisarius pretended to accept the offer, rode to Ravenna to be crowned, and promptly arrested the leaders of the Goths and reclaimed their entire kingdom - no halfway settlement - for Byzantium."
by Belisarius March 2, 2004
Get the Belisarius mug.The rumor that Belgians are extremely well endowed. Largely attributed to the intake of steak, mussels, fries, waffles, and of course beer. The average size for a male's penis worldwide is approximately 5.5in whereas the average size of a belgian male is approximately 6.4in.
See also the unfortunate Irish Curse.
See also the unfortunate Irish Curse.
by Joos V. August 10, 2006
Get the The Belgian Gift mug.A substitute for swearing, used on the disney XD television show Gravity Falls to stand in for swearing.
by Danny Do Shit May 30, 2016
Get the Hot Belgian Waffles mug.