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one legged man in an ass kicking contest

Attempting to accomplish a goal (kick ass) with some possible success only to wind up falling on your own ass. Having to try harder than the average person to reach the same success. A repeated accomplishment followed up by repeated embarrassing failures.
Melvin was a good looking guy but his halitosis made the women gag, he was about as successful with dating as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.
by EmmasTatDad July 24, 2014
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venezuelan ass kicking

usually involves rapidly traveling lead
you mess with a Venezuelan you just might get venezuelan ass kicking
by daddy354465 March 9, 2009
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busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest

To be so busy, that you will never finish your job
"There is no way I can finish that too!" "Im busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest!"
by Frainslug November 5, 2005
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major ass kicking

it's when you kick someone's ass so hard, that even major league baseball can't compare to how far their ass flies. (not to be confused with minor ass kicking)
As soon as Timmy put his white hood on in Detroit, he received a "major ass kicking".
by WallOGainz April 22, 2017
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like a one legged man at an ass kicking contest

To be consumed with a task, especially at work.
"Got time for a ciggie bro?"
"I wish. Way too busy at the moment."
"How busy?"
"Like a one legged man at an ass kicking contest."
by Eustace Poor October 23, 2009
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Boustrophedonic Ass Kicking

A truly hellacious beat down. To beat someone up one side of the street, and back down the other.
When little Timmy picked a fight with a bar full of marines, they took turns in a systematic boustrophedonic ass kicking. Little Timmy... 1982 - 2010
by CharlieSaxon July 1, 2010
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minor ass kicking

When a ass kicking occurs, however only to the level of small bruises and scrapes.
I was out with my bitchy girlfriend when she delivered a "minor ass kicking" when she found out I was cheating because my friends snitched, but I'm still fine!
by WallOGainz April 23, 2017
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