Alimony

A program started in the 1920's to 1930's to support women who's job was to stay home and take care of the kids and run the house. Women were not allowed or encouraged to work, and as so, were unable to support themselves after a divorce. Somehow, the program has continued until this day, since the modern woman is apparently still unable to care for herself, or provide for herself. The system is flawed in several ways, the main one being that if the modern day family decides to keep the "mom/honey bunny" at home, the dad must usually find a high paying job or work much overtime to make up the missing income from his loving spouse staying at home. Its a good deal the first year as mom has playdates for the kids, dinner on the table, clean house, etc. After the novelty of marrige for the woman has worn off, after about 12 months, The downward spiral begins. Mom stops cooking, spends the day out shopping with friends, banging everyone but their husband, no dinner cooked when the husband gets home, and sure as hell no clean underware in the drawer. Credit card debt starts just to pay the monthly bills, Husband tries to get MORE overtime to keep credit cards from building and that helps for a while. Just want to make honey bunny happy and give her everything she desires...right?! After year #3 the husband starts to think in the back of his mind that they are in trouble, Wifey poo knew after the first year when she started banging the mail man, cable guy, and everyone at the local bar. Creditcard debt is at the $20,000 - $30,000 range due to numerous Home Shopping Network purchases ( I mean, what else the fuck is she suppose to do when she is at home, alone, all day???)Eventually, she gets one of her fuck buddies to propose to her, I mean the worthless son of a bitch she has been married to is never home, always working, and always bitching about the bills. "Bastard never gives me any money" is a common chant...and a justification to start stashing the grocery money every week and start putting that bill on the credit card too. Divorce comes, and of course the lifestyle that your little princess has become accustomed to needs to continue, so alimony needs to start. She gave you the best years of her life, stayed home so she could......well, stayed at home and could not enter the work place so you owe her, big time. Of course with her nursing degree she can get a job anywhere (that was paid for by you too!) but she could not possibly continue to be a member of the country club on her $60,000 a year salary. Of course the Alimony amount is figured on your 2 job, 80 hour a week income as well as the child support. Your now 40 year old Ex wife still bitches constantly because she does not get 100% of your paycheck, is in another shitty relationship, only refers to you as dead beat dad! to your kids (because it somehow helps her self esteem) and is pissed because you are banging a 23 year old sweet thing, and she is STILL up to her saggy tits in creditcard debt!

Ex Wife: Ohhh, my Alimony check is here, lets go shopping
Ex Wifes Friend: Sounds like a plan, how much you got?
Ex Wife: I get $1500 plus $1500 child support.
Ex Wifes Friend: Damn!!! What a deal
Ex Wife: I know, I know. Im trying to get my new boyfriend to propose so I can do it again. I figure I will have 3 or 4 ex's before its all said and done. That will be some serious bank!!!
Ex Wifes Friend: Amen sister. Men are such assholes huh?
Ex Wife: Tell me about it. Pass me another bon-bon and lets get HSN on the TV.....Kiiiiids, get mama another beer!

by Mr. Response February 15, 2006

Alimony

The fucking you get for the fucking you got.

"I'd leave the worthless, no-hummer givin' bitch, but the alimony would kill me."

by Anonymous March 14, 2003

Los Alamos Police Department

Los Alamos Police Department (LAPD) is a department consisting of a variety of ape like mammals. These creatures are generally known for their low intelligence, small stature, arrogant personalities, and an uncanny sense of smell for underage trouble such as toilet papering houses. The LAPD carry the authority to arrest individuals for a variety of crimes such as J walking, laughing, sneezing, stetching, playing tennis, and reading. Studies have shown that the psychology of these individuals relates to that of a booger eating adolescent that was picked on throughout highschool and seeks revenge as an adult. Although the majority of the time, these individuals continue to get picked on as adults, the LAPD have found means to carry weapons to make up for the typical tiny weiners found on these animals. While not at work, these creatures can typically be found on their back with their legs over their head attempting to suck on their own weiners. See also short man's syndrome, sissy, dooshbag, vagina man and duck butter

Example 1: "I just saw a lizard eat an ant. We should probably call the Los Alamos Police Department!"

Example 2: "My girlfriend says my penis is too big; however, she used to date a guy from Los Alamos Police Department, so it's really not a big compliment."

Example 3: "You should graduate highschool or else you will end up at Los Alamos Police Department."

Example 4: "If you guys call me a girl 14 or 15 more times, I will join Los Alamos Police Department."

Example 5: "I wish I could read. Now I have to join Los Alamos Police Department."

Example 6: "Oh no, here comes the Los Alamos Police Department, pull a vagina man so they are not intimidated."

by Lost Almost August 16, 2010

Remember the Alamo

A phrase that could be compared to that of "Never Forget, (9/11)" In a nutshell, it means, "The army of Santa Anna (Mexico) took the Alamo, so we'll take their lives!"
One could use it as a sort of motivation for those around them, when a situation seems hopeless.
It is also a movie, based on the same events surrounding Davy Crockett, the Alamo, and the Army of Santa Anna.

"My friends, we must remember the Alamo!"

by Kil Lerown January 3, 2010

alimon

The name for one who dates his sister

by Anonymous April 7, 2003

Alimony

A monthly payment Men are forced to pay to their Wife's for the pass used of their Vagina.

Also known as vaginamoney.

One of the MANY REASONS why a man NOT get MARRIED to a WESTERN WOMAN.

Bob divorced that cheating slut but he was still forced to pay alimony to that bitch.

by Kunzy D January 6, 2012

alamo

a wonderful song by alec benjamin.

STREAM

THESE TWO WINDOWS

Please give me a reason to believe all the lies
'Cause my teachers and the media are ghouls in disguise
Abusing their authority to proselytize
But nothing they report to me could change my mind
I need a vacation from the way things have been
Because I'm growing impatient, yeah, it's boiling my skin
Had enough manipulation, can you just let me live? Mm
Live my life
I'm not gonna give in, if I have to fight
Then I'm willing to give my life, rather die
Than lay down on my back, got no white flag to throw
This is my Alamo, this, this is my Alamo
Please give me a reason to give up on myself
You can tell me that it's treason, this is stand and rebel
I won't pledge you my allegiance, I'll just bid you farewell, mm
And goodbye
I'm not gonna give in, if I have to fight
Then I'm willing to give my life, rather die
Than lay down on my back, got no white flag to throw
This is my Alamo, this, this is my Alamo
I know that on the surface it might seem like I'm just fine
But I can't eat, I barely sleep, sometimes I wanna run and hide
Feel like I'm dying in this cage, my soul is trapped, I feel confined
And I just wish they'd let me out so I could finally live my life
I'm not gonna give in, if I have to fight
Then I'm willing to give my life, rather die
Than lay down on my back, got no white flag to throw

by shawnxalec June 29, 2020