'ass-TIST-ik'. Noun. A statistic that is 'pulled out of one's ass', or made to sound valid but is actually made up.
'asstistical' and 'asstistically' are the adjective and adverbial forms respectively.
'asstistical' and 'asstistically' are the adjective and adverbial forms respectively.
Bob: I read about some college did a study that found when monkeys were given marijuana they learned to solve puzzles faster than the ones that weren't.
Fred: What college was that - Asstistic University?
Fred: What college was that - Asstistic University?
by oolong August 19, 2006
Get the asstistic mug.Apistis: without faith. (Greek, from pistis)
Agnostics (without knowledge) and atheists (without god) have long argued about which is the more accurate term for their logical analysis of all things. Agnostics are claimed to give up on ever knowing whether unknowable things exist (which is a silly claim but that's sort of what the word infers) and atheists are claimed to completely rule out the possibility of a god without any proof against it (which is exactly what the word means so the claim is justified).
Now, all of us can rest easy and join hands against the religious zealots, lunatics, and retards for there will be no more confusion of terms!
Agnostics (without knowledge) and atheists (without god) have long argued about which is the more accurate term for their logical analysis of all things. Agnostics are claimed to give up on ever knowing whether unknowable things exist (which is a silly claim but that's sort of what the word infers) and atheists are claimed to completely rule out the possibility of a god without any proof against it (which is exactly what the word means so the claim is justified).
Now, all of us can rest easy and join hands against the religious zealots, lunatics, and retards for there will be no more confusion of terms!
Guy 1: What religion are you?
Guy 2: I don't associate myself with any religion. I'm apistis.
Guy 1: oh, that means you're without faith, right?
Guy 2: ya
Guy 1: But don't you have faith in every step you take that you won't fall in a black hole or disappear at any moment?
Guy 2: No, through logical analysis I have figured out that stepping will do me no harm. 100% of all the steps I've ever taken have worked fine, so I keep taking them. Faith is believing in something without ever seeing it and having no reason to believe in it. That sort of stuff is just silly and everybody knows it.
Guy 1: Oh, well if that' what you think faith is then sure, but doesn't that mean the argument has just moved to be the definition of faith?
Guy 2: Ya! That's exactly it! and that's an argument that Apistis can have with all of organized religion. We won't have any more squabbling between agnostics and atheists distracting us! The scientific people of the world will more easily be able to rule out the crazy nuts. Hopefully it'll make life a lot simpler for all of us.
Guy 1: Awww, well good luck then.
Guy 2: I don't associate myself with any religion. I'm apistis.
Guy 1: oh, that means you're without faith, right?
Guy 2: ya
Guy 1: But don't you have faith in every step you take that you won't fall in a black hole or disappear at any moment?
Guy 2: No, through logical analysis I have figured out that stepping will do me no harm. 100% of all the steps I've ever taken have worked fine, so I keep taking them. Faith is believing in something without ever seeing it and having no reason to believe in it. That sort of stuff is just silly and everybody knows it.
Guy 1: Oh, well if that' what you think faith is then sure, but doesn't that mean the argument has just moved to be the definition of faith?
Guy 2: Ya! That's exactly it! and that's an argument that Apistis can have with all of organized religion. We won't have any more squabbling between agnostics and atheists distracting us! The scientific people of the world will more easily be able to rule out the crazy nuts. Hopefully it'll make life a lot simpler for all of us.
Guy 1: Awww, well good luck then.
by Ballsinahatontopofalampshade July 28, 2009
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