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sharp as an apple

An apple, being spherical and smooth, is one of the least sharp objects one could find. The phrase "sharp as an apple" therefore means that the subject is slow mentally. An idiot. It can also be used in a self-deprecating manner whenever someone comments on your failures, though typically it helps if you don't actually believe you are.
Guy 1: Hey man, what do you think would happen if I stuck my hand in this blender and turned it on?
Guy 2: You really are sharp as an apple, you know that?
by Turkey Boy February 27, 2008
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one bite short of an apple

The term used to describe an individual or group of individuals who display a certain degree of insanity by making up excuses that are implausible to the extreme in a feeble attempt to deny responsibility for their mistakes.
Boss: "What time do you call this, your 6 hours late."

Employee: "I'm really sorry I'm late sir I was err.. abducted by aliens, on my way way in. They returned me to earth in the middle of a field and the nearest train station was twenty miles away. I definitely didn't spend last night clubbing and get up 6 hours late."

Boss: "Who do you think you are kidding? You must be one bite short of an apple if you think there's any hope of me believing that!"

or

Fictitious mobile phone manufacturer: "Our phones appear to have poor reception when held because our stupid customers are hold them the wrong way. The 'signal strength formula' feels intimidated by humans and gets it's maths wrong whenever it is in the centre of a fist. This makes the poor innocent little formula accidentally display the wrong number of bars. The call quality appearing to drop is purely coincidental, as is us releasing an insulation cover and recruiting eight new antenna engineers. There is definitely no design floor. Even if there was, it is definitely nothing to do with the very sensitive revolutionary external uninsulated antenna. The antenna is just being ridiculed for being pure genius, by people without any imagination. All you have to do is imagine it works perfectly and you won't find a single fault. This worked just fine for us during testing."

Anyone with at least half a braincell: "They really must be one bite short of an apple if they think anyone is going to believe any of that!"
by iCantMakeCalls July 7, 2010
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Toothless horse eating an apple

The maximum level of power when performing cunnilingus. What it lacks in technique, it makes up for in lifting women off their feet like a seal balancing a ball on its nose.
Last night, I got high on bath salts and went down on my gf like a toothless horse eating an apple.
by Eleven Tails December 19, 2019
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Pulling An Apple

A person that does not pull their weight during multiplayer gaming.

A person pulling an apple might give excuses like

1. I fell asleep.
2. Need to go to the bathroom.
3. Fixing a Sandwhich.
4. Shaving
5. Having a Seizure.

Do not fall for these.
Rand: Damn it Jim, you pulled an apple on us last night.

Jim: Sorry I was shaving and not pulling an apple.
by MajinFro April 1, 2009
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a babies arm holding an apple

Wow, that dude Larry, has a humongous dick! It looks like {a babies arm holding an apple!

A snippet of a lyric from the song by the 'Tubes.'

"What do you want from life?"

"A babies arm holding an apple."
by Narvel J. Stimpson December 29, 2015
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baby's arm holding an apple

Having an extremly large penis.
John: My dick is so big it looks like a baby's arm holding an apple!
by Z-Rizzle September 16, 2006
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Pulling An Apple

While playing a co-op or multiplayer game, a person disapears leaving his co-op partners to play the game without him.
He's not here yet again. He is pulling an apple.
by MajinFro March 31, 2009
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