were a monkey dances around in a circle filled with other monkeys. after that they all jump on eachother and sleep
by fradern July 3, 2021
Get the Milos theory mug.a theory that racism doesn’t exist and it’s all just a big coincidence that minoritized peoples have ended up where they are in Western societies, particularly the US; often espoused by people who are defensively insistent not only that they are not racist, but that there is no way they could possibly BE racist.
Forget what they learning in school, this prejudice moron must have learned more about Coincidental Race Theory from his own ignorant parents.
by Shogunn2517 July 6, 2021
Get the Coincidental Race Theory mug.When you are out of ideas to tell your friend why he cannot get a girlfriend, or female attraction. So you have to be nice and say it’s the quality of his camera, say he needs a new phone.
No Jacob, you’re not ugly. Just get a new phone, the women will be all around you! It’s called the New-Phone Theory!
by Djay_man July 7, 2021
Get the New-Phone Theory mug.A belief that a strange event or circumstance is caused by normal means and shouldnt be looked into any further even in the face of mounting evidence suggesting otherwise.
by b4zzo July 9, 2021
Get the Suspiracy Theory mug.The Alonso-Schumacher Theory is the theory that if a person, often in a formal or casual competition, has something or someone they truly care about, they are, on average, less likely to take risks even if might really benefit them.
Based on a quote attributed to Formula One driver Fernando Alonso that talked about his fellow competitor Michael Schumacher at the 2005 Japanese Grand Prix ("I knew he'd brake, he has a wife and two kids at home"), the theory is named after them.
Based on a quote attributed to Formula One driver Fernando Alonso that talked about his fellow competitor Michael Schumacher at the 2005 Japanese Grand Prix ("I knew he'd brake, he has a wife and two kids at home"), the theory is named after them.
"Y'know, Rhys's lap times could really be improved by half a second... it's like he's unwilling to go 100%."
"It's probably because he just got engaged, he can't leave his future wife."
"Ah, the Alonso-Schumacher theory in action, never gets old"
"It's probably because he just got engaged, he can't leave his future wife."
"Ah, the Alonso-Schumacher theory in action, never gets old"
by TheManFromOsaka January 12, 2026
Get the Alonso-Schumacher Theory mug.The belief that what you learned in school is a sanitized fairy tale, and that real history is a hidden narrative of power struggles, secret elites, and suppressed truths. Professor Jiang’s “Secret History” lectures claim to strip away the official myths to reveal how power actually works—often through covert networks, ideological manipulation, and recurring cycles of corruption and collapse. It’s for people who think history class was a CIA plot and that the real story is always juicier, darker, and more consequential.
“Bro, Secret History Theory says the Roman Empire didn’t fall because of barbarians—it was a secret cult of billionaire patricians who engineered the crisis to reset the debt clock. That’s why we’re living in the Pax Americana version 2.0.”
by Abzugal January 24, 2026
Get the Secret History Theory mug.A method of forecasting the future by treating history like a repeating algorithm. Inspired by Isaac Asimov’s “psychohistory,” Jiang argues that large‑scale human behavior follows predictable patterns—like the rise and fall of empires, the outcomes of great‑power rivalries, and the timing of major wars. By identifying these “historical structures,” you can supposedly make scarily accurate prophecies about coming events. It’s geopolitics meets fortune‑telling, with a Yale degree.
“Predictive History Theory nailed the 2024 U.S. election and the Iran‑Israel conflict a year in advance. Next up? It says China will peak in 2035 and then face a ‘Soviet‑style’ unraveling. Check the charts, man.”
by Abzugal January 24, 2026
Get the Predictive History Theory mug.