ranch drunk 

(adverb) (chiefly Australian) - The most intoxicated due to alcohol it is possible to get without the consequence of actual death, or, death related problems. Usually used as a static definitive reference point for intoxication.

Mike: "I was in the city last night"
Ross: "Yeah? Were you drunk?"
Mike: "Yeah, but i wasn't ranch drunk".

ranch drunk by Ross the Sauce November 2, 2006

Weepy Drunk 

Basically, a Weepy drunk is a person who gets on their soap box and cries about their woes and troubles when drunk.

Alice: What's wrong with you kid?
Nick: -is drunk- My life is spiraling downwards. It sucks the world is not a pleasant place to be. My wife left me...(etc)
Alice: God you're such a weepy drunk

Weepy Drunk by Mike EF Baby March 8, 2009

too drunk to func

1) The act of becoming too inebriated to physically perform any tasks. 2) Not being able to perform sexually for reasons of being too inebriated.

Damn Billy was too drunk to func last night, I can't believe he tried to make that pizza.

too drunk to func by MickeyWalsh October 11, 2009

Lovey Drunk 

Drunk enough to get drawn on, but still trying to get laid

Your boy is so drunk, that he cannot notice he is being drawn on while he is trying to get laid by an ugly girl, he is lovey drunk

Lovey Drunk by Jameson Tomorrow May 1, 2010

Mistretta Drunk 

To become so highly intoxicated that you have a seizure

Padre: Son, I want you to know that I'ma pin ta get mistretta drunk at your homecoming dance tonight

Son: Sounds good father, I plan on doing the same

Mistretta Drunk by bobthehob September 29, 2011

Accidental Drunk 

Occurs during the hours of 1pm-10pm. Happens when alcohol participate inadvertently gets hammy, but are allowed to call an "accidental drunk" and fully neglect the actions of their drunkness and the fact that it ever happened.

After a few a lunch time drinks Rebecca narrowly escaped a disciplinary hearing at her job by calling accidental drunk.

Accidental Drunk by thewomprat January 7, 2012

jj drunk

When you get really drunk on the team bus. Weather you're on the team or not.

Hey man how was the game last night?

Good but our dads got JJ drunk!

jj drunk by Tommy560987 January 23, 2014