Canadian Corn Muffin

The Canadian Corn Muffin is when you ejaculate in your partners anus then pour jiffy corn muffin mix inside and mix it around with your semi-limp penis until a a thickened consistency is achieved. The next morning your partner will poop corn muffins.

Wow! These Canadian corn muffins are a great way to start the day!

by TheBiggestMuffinMan March 3, 2026

Canadian shit torture.

When your friend has diarrhea on the top bunk of your bed and it drips through the mattress and onto your forehead, which prevents you from sleeping.

Person 1: I heard your friend shit the bed yesterday.
Person 2: Yeah, it was total Canadian shit torture.

by PurpFr March 15, 2026

Canadian Snow Dragon

An advanced sexual prank. When a male is receiving a blowjob from a female. He must first cover his Tim Hortons Farmers Bacon Wrap in male syrup. Once the females mouth clamps around his Tim Hortons Farmers Bacon Wrap he holds her mouth shut with one hand while shoving her head down with the other, nutting as hard as he can. While doing so he informs her that he has an STD (only the nastiest will do). She will immediately gasp from shock. Timing must be perfect, resulting in the female blowing maple syrup baby gravy out through her nostrils.

Nancy was pissing me off last night so I gave that hooker the biggest Canadian Snow Dragon she has ever seen.

by Artie J Saves March 30, 2026

Canadian Canasian Happy Ending

When you visit a Rub and Tug or a Happy Ending massage parlor. The lady massaging you must be Asian born in Canada. As she’s giving you your Happy Ending she first pours maple syrup all over you erect Tim Hortons Farmers Bacon Wrap while wearing a Sasquatch mask. At the point of climax she catches all of your missile children in a goalie glove.

Broham last night Nancy gave me a Canadian Canasian Happy Ending but couldn’t find the goalie glove so I rained down missile children all over the place.

by Artie J Saves April 3, 2026

Canadian Northern Happy Ending

While visiting the far northern areas of Canada you come across the very hard to find Rub and Tug massage parlor. What makes the Northern Rub and Tugs stand out is the process in which the fire off your missile children. They cover your entire body in nothing but rendered whale blubber, paying special attention to your Tim Hortons Farmers Bacon Wrap. If you find the right massage parlor they actually use a fur beaver mitten for added pleasure. While stroking your blubber coated meat missile they help you achieve a perfect launch of your missile children.

Last night Nancy decided to try and give me a Canadian Northern Happy Ending. It didn’t work out very well.

by Artie J Saves April 3, 2026

Canadian HD PASA

When you have a #1 PASA in their district, ranked 16th company wide, top .15% at their position in the entire company, who has an alpha personality, voices their opinion, outspoken but can prove via actual facts about what they say, FAFO attitude, DGAF mentality, and management doesn’t like it. Due to managements lack of ability to control or silence this amazing, outstanding, overachieving, over performing , gorgeous, employee, they purposefully fail to acknowledge, celebrate, cultivate, respect, appreciate and deny their success and achievements. Because of this, that PASA says hold my maple syrup puts their Sasquatch mask on and takes their talents elsewhere. Leaving a massive dumpster fire and void that cannot and will not ever be filled throughout the rest of human history.

Dude they pissed Artie J off and he pulled a Canadian HD PASA on their asses. They are so screwed they have no idea.

by Artie J Saves April 4, 2026

Canadian Jacob Gone

When you and your Canadian boys are out at the bars on a Friday night and an American named Jacob walks in the door. Jacob started his night drinking with his friends in Murica’ but somehow gets separated and ends up in Canada with no recollection of how he achieved this feat as Jacob is piss drunk. Jacob instantly becomes a crowd favorite at the bar and part of your inner circle. As the night goes on it turns into a weekend filled drinking fest where Jacob ends up pulling off the Canadian Adele, Canadian Mud Puddle, Canadian Cannon Ball, as well as the Canadian Bottle Opener. As Sunday night rolls around you know that you have to set Jacob free. But you know if you set him free that one day and time he will return. You put your best Sasquatch mask on Jacob, cover him in maple syrup (more on why to follow) and your old hockey gloves. You and your crew bring Jacob to a hockey game where you put the bug in his ear about stealing the Zamboni. As Jacob jumps the boards butt ass naked still covered in maple syrup and wear the hockey gloves. As security tries to tackle and subdue Jacob he slips right out of their grasp on account of the maple syrup. Jacob achieves the theft of one of Canadas national treasures. As Jacob is driving the Zamboni across the Rainbow Bridge, police cars lights and sirens on following close behind, he has one hand with a Duce Duce of Canadian Lager the other is waving his fondest farewells to you. Knowing one day Jacob will be back but for now Jacob Gone.

Jacob where you go Jacob, oh Canadian Jacob Gone.

by Artie J Saves April 7, 2026