I'm just happy to be here

The kind of thing you say when you are put into an awkward scenario and you don't know how to react.
Real life example of mine below:

Girl: "So we want to get weed for 5 people tonight" (proceeds to look at me)

Me: I mean, I'm not really into that kind of thing. I'm just happy to be here.

by EJS_Ethan May 12, 2022

I'm never drinking again

I say this every time I suffer a hangover or regret some things I did/said the night before, but when I say this I'm a fuckin' liar lol.

Person 1: I'm never drinking again
Person 2: Famous last words
Person 1: No, honest! This is the worst hangover I have ever suffered and apparently I had some gay sex with another man and I'm straight
Person 2: I know what will cure your hangover!
Person 1: And what's that?
Person 2: Another beer
Person 1: Has PTSD over seeing the beer in his hand

by UltimateDoge August 5, 2022

I'm A Big Kid Now

What 11 year olds like to say.

"Look at me, I've started secondary school, I'm a big kid now."

by Soiled Undergarment August 17, 2003

Well, I'm a Dutchman's uncle!

An expression of surprise on discovering that something improbable is in fact true

Hearing that I'd passed the exam, my mother exclaimed: "Well, I'm a Dutchman's uncle!"

by Genuine Dutch Uncle May 15, 2016

I'm gonna have a cow

A term used to express excitement and anger and about any emotion imaginable. But be careful, people might assume you are literally giving birth to cows. If you choose to play along with this childish idea, make disturbing groans while squeezing your buttcheeks together. And people may ask you where you keep your cows. Tell them that you keep them in a pin behind your house!

(Accidentally drops phone and cracks screen)
Suzzy: Oh my goodness, I'm gonna have a cow!
(Friends throw a surprise birthday party)
Friends: SURPRISE!

Herald: AH! I'm gonna have a cow!
(Also consider... Trips and falls on school stairs in front of hot seniors)
Tina: About 24 cows just escaped my pin... ;(

by kakattack3000 August 8, 2015

Trust me, I'm a mixologist.

A phrase often uttered by amateur bartenders who don't know what the hell they're doing, in order to gain the trust of a customer who doesn't know what they really want.

Customer: How do you know this drink will be good?

bartender: Trust me, I'm a mixologist.

by t3vin24 April 7, 2017

w/e i'm over it

To not let situations phase you in anyway and to move on with life.

"dude, you just failed English!"

"W/e I'm over it"

by NoLin December 29, 2007