Why can't I own a Canadian?

one of the internet's favorite google autocomplete fuck-ups

Guy: Why can't I o...
Google: "Why can't I own a Canadian?"?
Guy: no what the fuck is wrong with you

by bit125 March 6, 2022

i already have a water bottle

You have a bottle with nothing in it

I already have a water bottle

by ur mom gave me this name March 7, 2022

I See It Now

It's good to see your face again, it's been awhile
How am I doing, Well I get by somehow
You sure look good since your new love came in your life
You know I didn't see that fire in you he's found
Oh but I see it now

Oh I never saw that look in your eyes
And I never had you hold me that tight
And I never saw you dance with your feet off the ground
Oh but I see It Now

Holding him, you never looked more beautiful
Letting go has been so hard on me
And sitting here, it's clear to see what he means to you
The way you look at him, it ain't no mystery
He's all I couldn't be

Oh I never saw that look in your eyes
And I never had you hold me that tight
And I never saw you dance with your feet off the ground
Oh but I see It Now

And I never saw you dance with your feet off the ground
Oh but I see it now

by Zatarain’s Root Beer Drinker March 7, 2022

M. I. K

Missing In Kensington

We haven't heard from my roomie at Savage Sisters in dayz, she's prob M. I. K

by Every March 7, 2022

I heard that

Something homosexuals say instead of just saying “ok”

“Want to get dinner tonight in key west on the nude beach?”
“no i’m busy tonight with a women”
“I heard that”

by 1x.darius September 21, 2025

I Put A Whole Bag of Jelly Beans Up My Ass

i said scuse me mothafucka do you like jellybeans he was like yea but not the black and the green ones. mothafucka who said i had to eat them jellybeans. To make a long fucking story short I put a whole bag of jellybeans up my ass and it's been 24 hours later and i ain't find none yet

I put a whole bag of jelly beans up my ass

by imabroomstick September 24, 2025

The person I would theoretically report it to

Already knew and her response to being told that they were fucking was "That's none of your business." But you wouldn't be saying that of the genders were swapped and the behavior of the higher-ups I would tell would indicate that THEY already knew. There was no one for me to tell, the people I would tell had it out for me, and I was fired for not doing it sooner.

Hym "The person I would theoretically report it to already knew. And this was not a business decision is was and is a publication made. I'm publishing papers. You are stealing it because is it better than anything you could manage to generate with your mentally retarded mind and for no other reason. THE ONLY BUSINESS DECISION BEING MADE HERE... Is the one to STEAL FROM ME! Those are the 2 decisions being made. One to steal from me and the other to allow it. If I can't get to one of you I CAN get to the other."

by Hym Iam September 24, 2025