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ass captain

The male who is responsible for inviting along female companions when a group of males decide to go out. The Ass Captain has no other responsibility other than to ensure the women show up for the evening.
Joe is the Ass Captain for the night since he met a group of girls on the Internet last night and they agreed to roll out with us.
by Epic909 March 28, 2004
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Can't see shit captain

I absolutely cannot see.
*lightswitch is off*
..."Can't see shit captain."

"You see that over there?"
"Can't see shit captain."
by lowrah February 17, 2009
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Famous quote that COD MW2 player Strixal repeatedly shouts out in-game to noobs he schools.
Noob - "I'm awesome, I will pwn u all!"
(Strixal kills Noob x 9999 times)
~ Silence ~
Strixal - "I'M THE CAPTAIN OF THIS SHIP!"
by TheLastRambo August 5, 2010
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Fap Captain

Literal: Someone who masturbates more than they have sexual intercourse.

Slang: A male who masturbates to *excess*.

*Considered to the general public to be more than sixteen times a week.
Tom: Is John coming with us to the bar later?

Billy: No- I bet he's busy at home choking the chicken again, that horny bastard.

Tom: What a Fap Captain.
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drum captain

The one band kid that isn't actually a band kid. AKA the coolest person in the band along with the drum major. Usually likes to hit things with sticks, including drumheads, practice pads, and bass drummers. The hottest guy or girl in the band that every girl or guy wants to get with.
Band Geek? No, I'm the drum captain.
by i-rizzle May 26, 2008
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Smush Captain

Someone who leads the way in smushing. Smushes with anyone from landmines to grenades to snookies.
(Ronnie) Smush Captain is on his way.
by Red Van August 6, 2010
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Reverse Captain Hook

Popular in climbing circles, the Reverse Captain Hook requires extreme finger strength and dexterity. This maneuver entails a girl standing up, while you do pull-ups between her legs, supporting your entire body weight with only two fingers in her vagina. If done correctly, should result in an orgasm.
Andrew: "Yo, Dan. I heard you reverse captain hooked Tracy last night."
Dan: "Yeah man. That shit's busted for at least two months and I have to throw away my sheets. Looks like murder."
Andrew: "Bro, that's fucked up!"
by TylerDurden6969 October 24, 2011
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