The man that slid down your CHIMNEY to break in that one Christmas Eve and ate all your FUCKING COOKIES. He wears red and white. Uses reindeer as slaves, and asks little kids to sit on his lap. Don’t sit on his lap.
Some fake fat fuck who watches you when you're sleeping and knows if you've been bad or good, he also breaks into your house which is highly illegal, he is also a drug addict. Long story short, SANTA IS NOT REAL KIDS!