Lorenzo Von Matterhorn was born in Switzerland in the spring of 1974. He was placed in a basket and tossed into a river immediately following his birth. After traveling downstream for miles, he was found by a young Milanese woman who raised him, naming his Lorenzo after her father, and Von Matterhorn to reflect his Swiss heritage.
Lorenzo was diagnosed with a condition called phallumegally (bigness of penis) at a young age. He grew up unable to ride a bike or feel comfortable in a locker room or a regular pair of shorts. He has applied for penis reduction surgery many times, but the doctors have said that, sadly, that is not an option.
He is the founder of Von Matterhorn Industries International Unlimited Global Inc., or VMIIUGI, and was once named billionaire of the week by Big Business Journal.
See The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn.
Lorenzo was diagnosed with a condition called phallumegally (bigness of penis) at a young age. He grew up unable to ride a bike or feel comfortable in a locker room or a regular pair of shorts. He has applied for penis reduction surgery many times, but the doctors have said that, sadly, that is not an option.
He is the founder of Von Matterhorn Industries International Unlimited Global Inc., or VMIIUGI, and was once named billionaire of the week by Big Business Journal.
See The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn.
by lilypotter56 July 25, 2012
I went to chicago in a blue hoodie and shouted “SMOKIN THAT VON PACK!” and i made so many friends!!1!
by beeeeaaaans January 08, 2023
A brilliant, pragmatic statesman and who worked to unify Germany and was the first Chancellor of the German Empire.
He practiced Realpolitik, a pragmatic approach that is often represented as Machiavellian.
He was called the Iron Chancellor because of a speech he made saying that "The great questions of the time will not be resolved by speeches and majority decisions...but by iron and blood."
He predicted that World War I will start because of "some damned fool thing in the Balkans."
Putting his poster on your office is a great way to piss off uber liberal college students.
He practiced Realpolitik, a pragmatic approach that is often represented as Machiavellian.
He was called the Iron Chancellor because of a speech he made saying that "The great questions of the time will not be resolved by speeches and majority decisions...but by iron and blood."
He predicted that World War I will start because of "some damned fool thing in the Balkans."
Putting his poster on your office is a great way to piss off uber liberal college students.
"A conquering army on the border will not be stopped by eloquence."
"He who has his thumb on the purse has the power."
-Otto von Bismarck
SL students shit a brick when they see a picture of Otto von Bismarck on my professor's wall.
"He who has his thumb on the purse has the power."
-Otto von Bismarck
SL students shit a brick when they see a picture of Otto von Bismarck on my professor's wall.
by dangcmange2 November 29, 2009
Ferdinand Von Aegir is a character in Fire emblem Three houses.
He simply goes by the name of Ferdinand
His family is under the Adrestian empire. Ruled by the soon-to-be-empress Edelgard
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His name is often forgotten so don’t hesitate to say “I am Ferdinand von Aegir” whenever you go.
He simply goes by the name of Ferdinand
His family is under the Adrestian empire. Ruled by the soon-to-be-empress Edelgard
-
His name is often forgotten so don’t hesitate to say “I am Ferdinand von Aegir” whenever you go.
“Who’s that gentlemen in three houses with orange hair and a noble?”
“His name is Ferdinand von Aegir. “
“His name is Ferdinand von Aegir. “
by HolyShtItsATree September 15, 2019
He's the man, the legend, the king. Ginger Elvis, King Baby Duck, and J Ho, it's all one man. He's a great dancer, likes long walks on the beach, and will fuck your day up if you cross him. He'll blow your mind with his music, then blow his load on your mom. His name is Josh Homme, and he (probably) approves of this message.
Dood 1: I just got back from the Eagles of Death Metal show.
Dood 2: SICK! Did Carlo Von Sexron seduce you with his drums?
Dood 1: Nah, he wasn't there. He was probably fucking your mom.
Dood 2: Fuck man, I wish I was as cool as him...
Dood 2: SICK! Did Carlo Von Sexron seduce you with his drums?
Dood 1: Nah, he wasn't there. He was probably fucking your mom.
Dood 2: Fuck man, I wish I was as cool as him...
by whorehopper March 17, 2016
To perform the Lorenzo Von Matterhorn, here's what you'll need: basic knowledge of website design and a very unique fake name. So, think of your fake name right now. Have you got it? Good.
Now, select your target, preferably a girl with a real nice phone.
The dialogue that follows should go something like this.
You: "Yeah. It's me."
Girl: "Do I know you?"
You: "I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn."
Girl: "Are you, like, famous, or something?"
You: "Yes... You really don't know who I am, do you? What a refreshing change of pace. Nice to meet you..."
Girl: "Shelley."
You: "Shelley. Once again, I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. Spelled like it sounds: two t's. Lorenzo. Von Matterhorn. Ciao."
Then, as soon as you're gone, she gets out her phone and does an internet search for Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. And that's when she discovers a series of fake websites, all devoted to the incredible life of Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. There's a fake business article about Lorenzo, the reclusive billionaire. The fake explorers club newsletter describing his balloon trip to the North Pole as a feat of pure daring and imagination. The fake medical journal featuring a heart-breaking story of doctors telling him penis reduction surgery isn't an option. And by the time you get back...
You: "Hi. Shelley, uh, I hate to be forward, but can I buy you a cup of coffee?"
Girl: "Yes! Please."
You: "What does coffee go for these days? Fifty dollars?"
Girl: "Oh, Lorenzo."
And it is on.
Now, select your target, preferably a girl with a real nice phone.
The dialogue that follows should go something like this.
You: "Yeah. It's me."
Girl: "Do I know you?"
You: "I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn."
Girl: "Are you, like, famous, or something?"
You: "Yes... You really don't know who I am, do you? What a refreshing change of pace. Nice to meet you..."
Girl: "Shelley."
You: "Shelley. Once again, I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. Spelled like it sounds: two t's. Lorenzo. Von Matterhorn. Ciao."
Then, as soon as you're gone, she gets out her phone and does an internet search for Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. And that's when she discovers a series of fake websites, all devoted to the incredible life of Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. There's a fake business article about Lorenzo, the reclusive billionaire. The fake explorers club newsletter describing his balloon trip to the North Pole as a feat of pure daring and imagination. The fake medical journal featuring a heart-breaking story of doctors telling him penis reduction surgery isn't an option. And by the time you get back...
You: "Hi. Shelley, uh, I hate to be forward, but can I buy you a cup of coffee?"
Girl: "Yes! Please."
You: "What does coffee go for these days? Fifty dollars?"
Girl: "Oh, Lorenzo."
And it is on.
Did you see that? Barney totally just pulled off The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. He's bringing the girl up to his room right now!
by lilypotter56 April 02, 2011
by Jon Galasso November 22, 2003