Passport constipation

When you have applied for a passport with the US Government 6 months ago and you are leaving tomorrow and still can't squeeze out a passport for your spring break trip!

Hey Tracy: Have you received your passport yet for our trip to Punta Cana on Friday?

Tracy: Hell no, the US governemnet has passport constipation! They can't seem to squeeze out the passport I applied for 6 months ago!-

by MaxtheCameraMan April 4, 2009

constitutional scholar

Someone who claims legal scholarship regarding the US Constitution and who holds opinions thereof that agree with the author of the article citing said person.

Constitutional scholars agree that <insert author's opinion here>.

by AncientGeek August 26, 2021

Toxic Constitutionalism

The act of taking the United States constitution so far, that it becomes toxic towards others.

“Hey, did you hear Todd down the street refused to wear a mask, and argued with the staff, at the local play?”

“Yeah, toxic constitutionalism sucks.”

by FriarTheTuck October 23, 2020

Constipation Contraction

A contipation contraction is when your anus / gluteus maximus muscles contract strongly causing a sharp and very uncomfortable pain, usually the same pain experiencenced whilst experiencing constipation. The contractions aren't always indicating constipation but there's a good chance it may follow.

Ben: *lift ass off chair and screechs in pain*
Josh: what's wrong?
Ben: Just had a constipation contraction -- ouch.
Josh: haha. eat too much cheese?

by okaythen873 July 31, 2009

Constipation Stroke

When you try to shit but can’t so you make the effort worthwhile by giving yourself a good old fashioned wank and rubbing one out before flushing and hoping the turd will pass next attempt. If not, repeat.

I’m on my third constipation stroke today. If I don’t blow the other way soon I may have to resort to an enema.

Sometimes I think he eats a poor diet just for the ability to constipation stroke.

by Dick Onchin January 11, 2022

alcoholic constipation

The inability to pass a pub or bar.

Man, that was a great night last night! All seven of us suffered alcoholic constipation. We must have hit every bar in town!

by TheNotBob December 6, 2009

vehicular constipation

Anyone driving slower than you and refuses to move over to let you pass. Beware all station wagons. Or just anyone driving ridiculously slow. Beware handicap as well. I mean c'mon, you already had the accident.

vehicular constipation usually drive station wagons, or are handicapped, or foreigners, etc...

by b-tox May 17, 2012