Shaft Captain 

Another name for a Staff Captain in halo 3 but more related to being a Staff Captain in real life-being a noob at life, having a lot of experience but still is a noob. Used to describe a teenager most times.

Winston: damn look at that girls titties.
Sam: she's out of your league dude.
Winston: that girl is fineeeee.
Sam: ur such a Shaft Captain

Shaft Captain by ddrew3 May 20, 2010

Mr. Captain 

The Captain of Mystery Missions. He is arguably one of the most awesome people ever because he lets his agents call and text him whenever they feel like it. Also, he sings for us while he does Livechats. We love him dearly, even though his abs break the internet.

Agent 1: I love Mr. Captain. He's so amazing. He let me call him and gave me a compliment
Agent 2: MR. CAPTAIN IS SEXY AS HELL
Agent 3: I like his abs... but they break the interwebz

Mr. Captain by Agent Sparkles February 11, 2010

Thank you Captain Obvious

A phrase said to a dumbass who answers a rhetorical question or states the obvious.

Guy: Where did he come from?
Dumbass: His mother.

Thank you Captain Obvious by pickledfebruary May 21, 2005

slapping the captain 

masturbating
(i.e. turning japanese, chucking custard, choking the chicken, wringing the meat, sliding the salami, exploding the chode, etc....)

Jack slapped his captain because Jane wouldn't fuck him.

slapping the captain by LaxG March 17, 2004

Sofa Captain 

A former US Navy officer who loves watching TV. He often sits with a remote in his hand, patting the sofa as if it were a ship. The most famous Sofa Captain is Captain Earl Pickles, USN Ret.

Earl: Hey Nelson, you want to sit here with your favorite Sofa Captain? I think 'The Flintstones' is on.

Nelson: You are a such a goof! Of course I'll sit there with you.

Earl: (like a sea captain) Aye aye! Clear sailing ahead, matey!

Nelson: (like a sea captain) Arrgh, the goodship Flintstones dead ahead!

Opal: Anybody want some brownies and milk? Sofa Captains needs their snacks, you know!

Sofa Captain by Dusty's Baby Powder January 21, 2011

Swag Captain 

The best looking person in the room, area, team, family, or etc. in terms of overall appearance including clothing and accessories.

Example: "I wanted to be the swag captain of the football team, but our quarterback has much more swag than me."

Example: "When we went out as a family for dinner, my father was definitly the swag captain of the family, considering his outfit."

Swag Captain by R.B.V. December 29, 2011

Sweat Captain

A guy who is the best on their team in Call Of Duty and is the only reason why they're winning.

402Thunder402: I am the sweat Captain on this team and he's the sweat Captain on that team.

Sweat Captain by Sweat Captain December 31, 2018