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Shave Your Beard

To tell someone off over something pointless or ridiculous. Used when your friend is rambling about something that isn’t even your business and you just have to get him to shut the fuck up.
Ron: Yo bro! I talked to that Adrianna girl in school today. She’ll be my prom date! Isn’t this so ex-

Peter: Shave your beard, Ron.

Ron: What?

Peter: I said shave your beard Ron!
by IAmTheOneWhoShits December 9, 2024
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bearded funk box

Unshaven vagina that smells like feet with a hint Brut( By Fabrage ).
She nasal assaulted me with her bearded funk box. I told her to close her legs because her bearded funk box destroyed my sense of smell.
by Bad Baloo December 21, 2024
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Bearded Know-It-All

A stereotypical social media commentator, usually with a beard, who likes to hear themselves speak as if they are an expert on a given subject, but their expertise might be questionable.
The bearded know-it-all gave me an unsolicited lesson on what he thought was the proper way to drink bourbon.

The bearded know-it-all mentioned on his podcast that birds are direct descendants of dinosaurs.

The bearded know-it-all argued that there is no difference between micro and macroeconomics.
by Rev Possum Jenkins July 16, 2025
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Bearded Balloon Knot

Refers to someone with a very hairy ass or asshole.
I was getting laid but as we kept going I couldn’t stop noticing how she had a Bearded Balloon Knot
by Lowkey_fire August 16, 2025
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Beard Madness

A short-lived surge of itch, prickling, and irritability that hits about 24–48 hours after a close shave, as stiff regrowing stubble and freshly sensitized skin team up to drive you into a slight frenzy. Typically lasts 1–4 days.
“Day-two Beard Madness has me wanting to claw my face off.”
by TwistedBobbay August 29, 2025
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ASHTRAY BEARD

The modern normie / npc lazy style for men of a wide age range from late 20's to senior age.
This look is post circa 2000 but had some similar types prior but is more
common now, actually quite prolific.

The name describes pretty much everything, a collector of filth on a man's chin -

the unkempt look extends to the whole persona but is currently socially
acceptable.

Has a generally unhealthy life, repetetive, posturing, feeling of a constant
hang over , smells like stale smoke in the back of a wet sedan.
This type will be always drinking beer, smoking cigarettes, vaping, gaming, doing lottery
has cocaine addiction because of his club days out of high school and never found
traction in a career is just schlepping with the 10 hour shifts for someone else
in a reflective vest.
The staple hobby of the Ashtray Beard is being a locked in die hard sports-fan of course.
This type can be married or single. If married has a very loud obnoxious wife who
one ups him in constant barrage of insults and always whoring around.
Usually drives a Dodge Ram truck but that is irrelevant.

Any vehicle that is owned by the bank is his ride and he's proud
to tell you that you need to go buy a new truck like him
since he thought the guy at the dealership was being his
friend when he told him to tell others about the

no money down prime rate for the 2026 Truck.
Ashtray Beard cried when a 2010 Ford Escape passed him on the highway.
by OATSTAO November 15, 2025
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