shore duty problems

The US Navy's version of white girl problems. A shore duty problem is only a problem because you work in an office building at a slack-ass fleet support job, and life is good. Shore duty problems are commonly experienced by sailors who have not been assigned to a ship in a long time, and consequently have their threshold for flipping their shit grossly miscalibrated. Those who have spent some time on sea duty know what actual problems are, and are much less likely to go ape-shit over such trivial annoyances.

Shore duty problems may include:

-"Powerpoint froze before I saved my work and now I have to reopen it and spend 10 minutes entering this data all over again! AAAAAAAGH! I'm going to bludgeon everyone in this fucking office to death with my three-hole punch!"
-"We're not allowed to watch YouTube videos at work anymore?! GRRRAAAAGH! This is worse than being raped in the mouth! I'm going to break my keyboard in half and then strangle your children with my mouse cord!"

In comparison to common sea duty problems, which are actually worth freaking out over:
-"Toxic hydrogen sulfide gas is leaking into my berthing."
-"The sewage system is broken and I am covered in liquified human excrement while trying to fix it."
-"I am literally on fire/being electrocuted/getting shot at by Somali pirates right now."

by onshoreduty November 1, 2011

One Percenter Problem

A problem that a person whose income percentile is in the top 1% of a wealthy, industrialized country's income experiences that people in the 99% would probably roll their eyes at.

(This term is a continued division of the term "First World Problem.")

Which iPad 3 should I buy for my dog, the white or black one? I know this is a One Percenter Problem, but I'll just get both.

by EMarcisak04 June 16, 2012

Meatball Problems

the minute challenges faced everyday by short, overweight, outgoing women, with big boobs, wide asses, and no common sense who like to drink alot and act sloppy. Most often associated with Deena and Snooki on the cast of the mtv show "Jersey Shore"

Snooki: "Owwww!" "I just burned my cuca in the jacuzzi!"

Deena: " Ha WTF, me tooo!"

Snooki and Deena: "Meatball Problems!" Bahahaahaha

by Billy shavez November 5, 2011

Gandalf Problem

In an academic setting, a misunderstanding or mistake so critical that it will cause you to fail a test. Something so bad that if you told someone about it, they would say, "dude, you are so screwed for that final. YOU SHALL NOT PASS."

Actually no, our exam isn't next week, it starts in 15 minutes... you've got yourself a Gandalf Problem right there.

by betterbeAWESOME December 5, 2011

Corn problems

Corn kernels stuck in your shit from not chewing the corn good enough to digest it properly.

Jed: my gosh mother I think I have corn problems again
Mom: son you need to take time to chew your food

by Jedi_7 March 14, 2020

Elvis problème

A problem that needs solving but the solution strangely requires excessive amounts of oisters/lubricant

"We might have an Elvis problème over here."

by that_Sloppy December 8, 2020

High School Musical Problem

A problem which is cause by being great at multiple things. Usually used to describe the troubles of a friend you don't feel bad for because their life is better than yours and they are great at everything.

Talented Person: I made the Musical and the Varsity Basketball team and I can't do both, but I am the star of both, what should I do?
Other Person: Well it sounds like you have a High School Musical Problem.

by Yearbookchick March 23, 2010