masturbation

An orgy, all on your own.

I'm into masturbation. hey, it's like an orgy, only without nasty people.

by Elvo July 16, 2007

Masturbate

To jerk off, to jack off, to whack off, to beat off, to crank on out, to thrash, to choke the (Chinese) chicken, to pinch the one-eyed snake, to slap the salami, to spank the dolphin, to flog the dolphin, to pull the pork, to polish one's gun, to shine the silver, to beat the bishop, to smack little johnny behind his German helmet and purple bulbous ear, to do the five knuckle shuffle, to make love with oneself, to beat around the bush, to flick the sausage, to punch the purple ninja, to juice the snake, to peel the banana, to milk the cow, to squeeze the purple-headed yogurt-slinger, to slap the monkey, to tame the dragon, to play pocket pool, to go bowling by oneself, to hit a homerun in the homefield, and yet, to strike out, to whittle the woodblock, to shimmy up and down the pole of love, to initiate the Saturn V, to turn on the sprinklers, to turn on one's love hose, to punch the clown in the nose, to tweek the deek, to hit the dick, to tallywhack, to soil the Kleenex, to smother the hanky, and I'm sure I'm forgetting a few.

Most guys should know what I'm talking about.

by Master Chesco April 19, 2004

masturbible

Substitute pornography used by religious people, for instance the section of the Sunday newspaper advertising section that contains ads for bras and panties, or the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition.

"Somebody left their masturbible in the bathroom..."

by Gatorpress December 10, 2007

masturbating

What you were probably doing a few moments ago.

Joe: Whatcha doing?
Jimmy: Masturbating.
Joe: Cool, me too.

by Chuck Norris' son February 7, 2009

Masturbation

To please oneself while arousing sexual feelings, usually by rubbing, touching, and inserting one's fingers or other device in themselves in the case of a female. Usually accompanied by some sort of visual, audio, or mental help

Masturbation: Alex didn't feel like dry humping the bed post again, so he decided to masturbate to a home video of he and his ex making sweet love on the kitchen counter surrounded by empty vodka bottles and her lacy panties covering his eyes.

by Sexy Stripper Queen March 6, 2017

masturbation

give yourself a handjob by rubbing your hand up and down or inside (for women) your genitals.

masturbation is the greatest sex orgasm

by anal fucker May 1, 2008

masturbation

The act of self-stimulation to produce pleasure. Often misconceived as a mortal sin.

Types of masturbation: regular masturbation or mutual masturbation.

by DarthVadarStrikesAgain December 29, 2007