Santa Claus

A man who gets off on watching children 24/7 and making a list of Those who are nice, and those who are “naughty” he uses this list to choose his targets and break into their houses. He is often depicted as obese due to the fact that he lives exclusively off of stolen baked goods and dairy products, but in reality he must be RIPPED from all of the walls he scales and he has to be fairly lean in order to squeeze down all those chimneys. Mose people believe he gets around so fast because of a majical slay and a team of flying reign deer with LED noses, but this is very unlikely because he would be so easy to spot. It is much more plausible that the child stalking creep with so many different names is actually riding around in a white van to blend in with the snow and to have room for all of his “gifts” that he’s used to gain children’s trust worldwide! The only question remaining is, “is Santa Claus coming to your town?”

Me: I think I just heard something on the roof!
Macaulay Culkin: I’ll go deal with it.
Me: Wait! It could be Santa Claus!
Macaulay Culkin: Your right... I’ll bring extra bricks.
Me: Good idea! Now go put an end to that creep!

by iabast December 25, 2020

Santa Claus

A mysterious fat entity, said to dress in red clothing, that sneaks into houses and steals food. The common scientific name for this strange, rotund creature is "Homo holidayus". It is also known to enslave caribou to carry it's fat self to more food. One field study conducted near this creature's home base revealed another major fact: He also enslaves dwarfed human beings. Also observed was a caribou with a strange, glowing red nose.

Person 1: Did you hear about the cookie thefts last night?
Person 2: Yeah, they were caused by the infamous Santa Claus.

by -_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_- January 5, 2021

Santa Clausing

When you have a shit and you don't want to go to the bathroom so you slide that shit up and down your asshole.

I've been Santa Clausing since the first act.

by erferfin February 11, 2022

Reverse Santa Claus

"When I come up your chimney"

"Bro this girl totally reverse Santa Claus'd me last night"

by Pegging, peg September 20, 2020

The Santa Claus

A variation on the Captain Blackbeard maneuver.

The Santa Claus is a sexual act in which a person is anally fucking their partner, and then they pull out and begin to give a rim job. Their partner, a gassy individual, farts all of the accumulated cum into the face of the rim job giver.

The resulting appearance is a white beard resembling Santa Claus.

Bob and Tom were having butt sex. Tom started to give Bob a rim job, and Bob gave Tom the Santa Claus

by oc3powerline March 30, 2010

holy santa claus shit

We all know that fat ass that lives up north and its kewl to let him come in your house but if a creep does its bad(personal thought)
but since he was there the when jesus was born he must be holy so.....
when he goes to sit down and take a masive shit... i turns into holy santa claus shit...

example:ryan "hey bryan whats up"

bryan " i just got a d+ on my history :("

ryan " holy santa claus shit"

by mr.smarterass April 17, 2009

Santa Claus

A white bearded hippie who wears a red suit, boots, a red night cap, carries a bottomless burlap sack & is homies with rudolph & 8 other reindeer, yukon cornelius, a prospector who rescued rudolph & hermy from the abominable snowman named bumble, tamed bumble & had bumble put the star on tree then eventually, he discovered & opened up a peppermint mine. hermy, an elf who obviously wanted to have a career as a dentist so he also had permission from his boss to become one, gave the misfit toys to good homes, flies all over the world yearly & delivers good people what they deserve unless they get out of line!

Santa Claus is a true hippie when it comes to peace on earth!
Santa Claus:Ho, Ho, Ho!!, Merry Christmas, Homies!

by RealG92 April 9, 2017