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Platonic Blowjob

An act of fellatio given as a non-sexual reward for accomplishing a difficult task. The reason for fellatio rather than a material reward stems from the absolute truth that fellatio is awesome. It is generally reserved for monumental feats of accomplishment - ex. landing a major client account in record time, where the potential client was leaning away from ones firm.

This blowjob is non-sexual. No attraction need (or should) exist between the giver and receiver. Receipt or gift of a PBJ is not considered homosexual if given between males, but ONLY if the PBJ is given for a legitimately monumental achievement.
Jerry: I landed the VCorp account overnight - and they were even thinking of going with the other guys!
Rob: Jerry, that's amazing. We've had sales team after sales team tell us that account was impossible! And I just assigned it to you three days ago! Tell you what, meet me in my office. You've earned a Platonic Blowjob!

Alice: Tim, I can't believe you were able to complete the entire backup automation in two hours. It even tags changes and encrypts everything! Tomorrow morning, I'll see you in your cube for a PBJ.
by ffoodd October 13, 2009
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platonic

basically, the type of relationship that many men and women can never have together. this however does not stop many from trying.
in every "platonic" relationship, sexual tension is very high.
by squirrelgirl September 5, 2005
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platonic energy

Used to describe a lack of romantic chemistry. Term most often used by new age or granola types.
After their date, the yoga instructor told Sandy that he felt they had good platonic energy, but that he did not feel a romantic connection.
by Lotusflower February 16, 2007
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Platonic sex

Sexual relations between a man and a woman in which there are no emotions, but instead a feeling of friendship. Men typically enjoy this form of sexual intercourse, where as women typically dislike it. This phrase is a contradiction to itself.
"Bro, I just had sex with Megan!"

"Was it platonic sex?"
by Icecreamreaper August 16, 2011
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platonic humping

platonic humping is simply the act of dancing or moving in a sexual way that resembles the act of sex, without any feelings of sexual enticement.
My Aunt and her brother, my Uncle, made the entire room a bit uncomfortable when they began gyrating in the dance room. I had to explain to many outside the family that their dance required such platonic humping for effect.
by GsGood March 14, 2013
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platonic

1. The tendency of women to develop close friendships with their male acquaintances, thereby pre-emptively eliminating any possibility of a romantic relationship, the result of which is to remove the poor schmuck's heart and shred it

2. The process by which attractive and otherwise eligible women, when faced by proffered declarations of romantic interest by a male acquaintance, destroy the ego and spirit of said acquaintance by declaring that they only want to be "friends."
Typical response from a female to a male in a platonic relationship:

"I have feelings for you too, I don't want to do anything that could jeopardize our friendship. You're like a brother to me."
by pimpdady May 17, 2006
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plutonium

Super radioactive metal that turns green in the dark. Used in the Fat Man bomb, only 10kg is needed to reach critical mass (self-sustaining reaction.) If exposed to humid conditions, it can spontaneously combust.
Torch: You have a package...Plutonium!?
Slash: Yep, I was bored.
Torch: Wha...omfg...
Slash: It says the guy who discovered it kept it in a matchbox inside his desk. Weird.
by The Mr Needles Experience October 4, 2006
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