Jared

A guy whose greatness is legendary.

That guy must be a Jared.

by Infinite Spit June 11, 2018

Jared

a hairy homeless midget who never showers. It lives under bridges, it's diet consists of toothpaste & waffles. Very vicious and does not make a good pet.

Girl: I had a pet Jared once, i had to get rid of it though.
Boy: Why?
Girl: It smelled horrible and ate all my toothpaste. Then it tried to bite me.
Boy: You poor thing...

by A Very Amazing Person. (: December 20, 2010

jared

gullible person

he was such a jared to believe jon poh.smarty lololololol hahaha

by jimlimkim October 13, 2011

Jared

The biggest Bitch the world has ever Known. He is a douchbage who loves licking big sweaty balles and sucks monkey cocks at the zoo.

If you want to go to heaven don't be a Jared.

by Erick decker May 8, 2018

Jared

To completely kill everyone in the room's buzz by being totally negative and against everyone else.

Wow, that Jared completely ruined the party.

No, I couldn't have fun last night, i was with a Jared

Bald Headed FUCK!

by buttsexman1234 February 4, 2010

jared

the act of messing with or fucking up someone's Myspace/Facebook/etc. profile without their permission. You can jared someone's profile by adding lame interests, changing their default picture to David Hasselhoff, or changing their 'about me' section to reflect a homosexual lifestyle.

Example of jared :

"I'm sick of getting my profile jared-ed every time I forget to sign out!"

"I spent four hours last night jared-ing her profile."

by Larongitis December 9, 2008

Jared

To create something large in size for consumption. To upsize or upgrade something typically small or bite-size into something larger than usual.

Name derived from Subway's spokesman Jared Fogel.

"I'm totally going to jared this s'more", said Alan has he built a 4 marshmallow, 2 graham cracker, and 1 full chocolate bar s'more around the campfire.

You want to jared these Bagel Bites into a 4-story pizza tower?

by RobinAmerica July 7, 2009