masturbating

something that everyone has done or will do in the course of their lives, even if they keep denying it in front of their friends.

Scott: Joe, when you get home and watch that porn, and you are done masturbating, don't forget to wipe up the mess

Joe: I'm not gay, I don't do that

Scott: ummmmmmmm, sure you do, everyone does.

by My Name Is Hugh...Mungus July 12, 2009

masturbation

To fuck oneself

me: Why don't you just go and fuck yourself?
boyfriend: *goes off to do some masturbation*

by Guinevere134 June 12, 2009

masturbating

when a person 'makes love' to themselves by gently stroking their genital area. done for pleasure. women- often involves stimulating the clitoris, and sometimes involves inserting a long hard object into the vagina. men- involves wanking, i.e. gripping the hand around the penis and vigorously moving it up and down. masturbation can end in the woman/man cumming. often can cause embarrassment and often taboo, especially as regards to women.

omg my mum totally walked in on me havin a wank, dude!
no way, dude!
way!
no way!
way! and she was like, samuel, we are going to have a serious talk about masturbating!!

by nipcharmedtuck June 07, 2006

masturbate

One of the sexiest things that a man can possibly do.

Hot damn...there isn't much else I can say.

by raspberry (lust) muffin July 11, 2005

masturbation

1. America's number one past-time.
2. Reasons why many kittens die.

1.
Dude 1: "Dude you wanna go party or something?"
Dude 2: "Nah... I'm gonna participate in the great American past-time."
Dude 1: "Ahh... masturbation."

2.
Dude 1: "Dude that kitten just died."
Dude 2: "Ahh shit, I shouldn't have masturbated last night."

by thewhorewhoisjerome August 02, 2007

masturbate

1) SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement. (v.) The act of sexually pleasing yourself to orgasm. For males this involves using the hands to massage the penis in a thrusting motion, while for females this involves rubbing and stimulation of the vaginal and clittoral areas. This is often accompanied by some sort of sexually pleasing visual and/or mental stimulation.

2) (n.) Something a true Catholic cannot do because the wrath of the imaginary friend will come down upon them. See wordgod/word.

I was so horny I bought a Playboy and masturbated.

by fraghappy November 07, 2003

masturbate

What to do whenever you aren't in school or at work. Actually, you can do it there too, but be subtle.

I masturbated while I wrote this definition for urban dictionary.

by IM JERKING OFF RITE NOW April 04, 2009