Crapital One

The other name for Capital One. A bank holding company with a multitude of problems, such as:

- Their noisy slogan "What's in your Wallet?"
- Sending you spam mail for credit card offers every day
- Closing your account for requesting an unjust fee to be removed
- Misleading you to pay extra for services
- Automated dialing to your phone in violation of the Telephone Consumer Protection Act of 1991
- Randomly visiting you at home or your employer

Crapital One is something not to be trusted.

by The Real Driller December 11, 2022

carpet munch

To perform oral sex on a female. Eat the vagina

My girl didn't shower this week and she wants me to carpet munch.

by kLoWn May 23, 2006

carpetlicker

A female who has and enjoys oral sex with another female!

"mmmmm tasty," said the female to the other, "You are a good carpetlicker!"

by Anonymous June 5, 2003

crapetizer

When you finish dropping a deuce and know that there's another right around the corner.

I'm just taking a smoke break in between the crapetizer and the main course.

by kahhhhhhhhn May 27, 2010

carpet vulture

noun
(shortened from red carpet)
Someone who needs to have constant attention and enjoys the fame from being known by many people. Anyone that is annoying in a social event by always finding someone that is willing to pay attention to them or constantly commenting or interupting your talking. Someone who is constatly trying to show how much better they are compared to you.

Evan was such a cartpet vulture every time I would talk with a girl.

I watched the carpet vulture move around the party all evening.

by Cory Phillips July 6, 2007

Carpet itch

When a guy or girl has a nasty std that makes their pubic hair itch :P

Todd: I met this girl at the bar yesterday and when we we got to my house and we were about to have sex she was scratching down there

Sal: Eww that bitch had a carpet itch

Todd: Damn, thank God I told her she had to leave

by YOUR MOTHERS BFF June 20, 2011

Carpet Time

The duration of your feet resting comfortably on the floor mat while on cruise control.

Dude, I had 20 continuous minutes of carpet time on I-85 on my morning commute. How lucky was that?

by Dr. Howard Hevalaqua, II January 16, 2012