Closetmale

A closetmale is someone who is so scared to open up with Male friends, Often scared of women and anything remotely gay with men he hates! But loves at the same time

There goes Gary! Typical closetmale always talking about girls when we all know he loves a hunky man

by Souldestroyerbill September 6, 2018

Closet Jacker

An overly competitive alpha-male who refuses to accept defeat; or when defeated, is a total bitch about it, see also veenus master.

Once Tyrone lost by a free-throw, he's been nothing but a closet jacker in all our pickup games.

by Chuck Denniston October 5, 2018

closetly

When someone feels some type of way without making it known to others.

Even though she didn’t say anything, that bitch was probably closetly happy that her manager got fired.

by ZMedical October 28, 2018

chösed

Extremely fucked up, like beyond hammered. If you can say the word then you probably aren’t it

Ryan: Yo what’s up with Austin he keeps trying to find his way into Narnia through my closet

Kellan: Dude he is fucking chösed

by Captain chösed November 19, 2018

closet fuccboi

1. A fuccboi who hasn't realised his identity yet, but will become a fuccboi as soon as he gets a chance
2. A fuccboi who hides his identity from his close friends in order to get close to their friends and perform fuccboikery on them.
3. Somebody who orders iced chocolate at Starbucks, which makes him seem sweet and nice but he will use this fact to get innocent sweet-toothed girls

Riva: "Toby, I have a friend who'd be the perfect girl for you."
Simon: "Me too, me too!"
Riva: "No. Simon is very attractive but he's a closet fuccboi."
Simon: "I am not a closet fuccboi!!"
Riva: "Well, your Starbucks order says otherwise."

by lovehandle00 November 24, 2018

Closet Vaxxer

A parent that vaccinates their children or child in secret out of fear of being mocked and shamed by anti-vaxxers.

Did you hear about old Lou Silinavich, I heard he was a closet vaxxer and his kids are actually vaccinated. We shouldn’t let little Bobby Joe & Sue Ellen play with his kids any longer.

by MahatmaJonny December 19, 2018

closet tugger

Someone with the compulsive need to tug-it in the closet. Maybe due to a tramatic event of being walked in upon while giving his reliable pair the 1-2 polish and shine, (he wears sandals). There’s no shame, just more mess and not as much wiggle room as your traditional shower has to offer.

“I myself, am a closet tugger, the doors provide a nice secure barrier from the outside world during me time, and my girlfriends fuzzy scarves drape just low enough to tickle the tip.

“Dave is such a closet tugger! Look, he’s wearing crocs!”

by DrGreenT December 20, 2018