turd bug

A turd bug is any insect that is immediately attracted to the source of the smell and consistency of feces.

This is especially true when the originator of the feces has eaten something that is home cooked and greasy, or so overly seasoned that when the consumer voids the material out of their system the odor is suffocating.

Turd bugs are a secondary consumer of food products and are vital to composting and ongoing life cycles.

After Darnell took a shit in the bathroom the turd bugs were buzzing around the stall and trying to break through the screen ventilation windows just to get a taste of that...

Every time Chuck takes a dump, the turd bugs magically turn out to join in the celebration.

by SPELLING May 15, 2023

Turd Jerk

A sexual act in which one defecates into the palm of ones hand to then grip the turd-covered palm around the shaft of the users penis, while violently, yet carefully, keeping the turd safe within the proximity of said penis.

We were having an alright time at the party until Roger got too drunk and started turd jerking Samuel in front of everyone

by Mattimus87 June 14, 2011

Road Turd

When travelling in a vehicle for great distances, ie all day, you are forced to hold your bowels due to the lack of clean restrooms.

Jack(Passenger seat): Brad why are you all clenched up with sweats over there?

Brad(Driving): Because I've been driving for 600 miles and my Road Turd is crowning! I can't wait to get home to my bathroom.

by SpicyTuna23 August 23, 2011

Turd heaven

sewers

Guess we got to go down and check turd heaven

by Ladyjanathon July 2, 2016

streak a turd

When your cat or dog attempts to dislodge a dingleberry by dragging their starfish butthole across the floor.

Hey man, what's your cat doing to the floor?

He took a soft shit so the little asshole has to streak a turd.

by deadbeatwriter March 8, 2014

Turd burglar

Amsterdam only definition:
a polish dude that sleeps in your cupboard while your not watching.

"dude, I found this massive turd burglar in the cupboard under the stairs"
"bro did u call the police?"
"nah, he ran before I could get my axe"

by burgturdlar January 30, 2019

turd-blogging

The act of texting your friends to tell them about the crap you are currently taking.

Turd-blogging is an excellent way to pass the time during a particularly difficult crap.

by Jimmy Simpson January 12, 2008