Turd Burglar

One who takes shit or allows themself to be spoken down to by others.

“Poor Jeff, he always allows his boss to talk down to him, poor turd burglar”

by Sir Francis Argaf June 8, 2022

turd burglar

Someone who simply steals your poop. You could be taking a nice dump, not knowing what’s hiding in your shower, or under your sink… as soon as you stand up from the toilet and turn away for a second… your turd will be gone because the turd burglar took it. You will not catch them… nor see them.. unless they’re over 34 years of age. They are either assigned to a person at the age of 6, or placed into a house when built, and will steal everyone’s turds that ever lives there.

Frank - “Yo… I just took a shit, and when I turned around to flush… it wasn’t there”

Marlo- “oh, it was probably the turd burglar

by Stinkletoot May 26, 2024

Turd burglar

A “Turd Burglar” is When Courtney R is being a crazy radioactive bad ass bitch w seven flavors of that bootylicious bubble gum.

Courtney is a total turd burglar

by Anner Bananaer March 8, 2025

Turd Burglar

Male homosexual who engages in anal sex.

Kevin Spacey, recently arrested for sexual harrassment of young men is a notorious Turd Burglar, as is former House Speaker and wrestling coach Dennis Hastert.

by Mike From Akron January 25, 2018

Turd Burglar

This type of turd burglar is the type that happends in nursing homes. When a resident lets everything come out right in the eating area, in front of everyone and not caring about other people eating or Anything and after they finish thier business they just walk away.....

Turd Burglar: oops I have to use the bathroom...
Nurse: No wait ill take you to the bathroom
Turd Burglar: no im going right here right now

by FUNTIME! October 23, 2019

Turd burglar

When my dog sniffs the yard for rabbit poops...and eats them.

"Baxter!...quit being a turd burglar and leave them rabbit turds alone. You better give mama kisses first with that breath!" 🤭

by YOU DONT SAY June 27, 2025

Turd Burglar

A person who anally fists another, grabbing the feces inside the anal cavity. The fister then removes the contents of the anus and proceeds to Waluigi-run away from the crime scene (usually while also maniacally laughing). This is a very real and lucrative crime. On average a turd burglary occurs at least once every hour.

911 Operator: “911, what’s your emergency?”
Victim: “I need to report a burglary.”
911 Operator: “what was stolen.”
Victim: “I’d prefer not to say. Please send an officer quick! The turd burglar is getting away!”

by Definitely *NOT a Turd Burglar May 30, 2022