I just cracked me one off.

A phrase used in internet forums to confess having masturbated to a posted pic or story. Frequently used to express appreciation for a pic or story even if actual masturbation hasn't taken place. Occasionally used ironically or to be comedically inappropriate.
Example 1: <user posts pic of a PAWG> ... I just cracked me one off.

Example 2: <I just found out that my mother has terminal brain cancer> ... I just cracked me one off .
by Carlton G. Long January 12, 2020
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After one speaks with chief, they may misinterpret what chief has said. A friend who is confident in what chief has said will then reply, "I just spoke to chief and he said this is it".
Person 1: Chief just told me this isn't it, let's look elsewhere.
Person 2: I just spoke to chief and he said this is it.
by AFellowScienceGuy October 01, 2018
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I just toasted my pants

Basically a boner, minus the hard on. Pretty much just being really fucking excited about something. Kind of like the excitment of a sudden boner.
"Dude, holy shit. I just totally toasted my pants!"
"I swear to god, after I saw her I just toasted my pants."
by SydVicious513 January 06, 2010
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lame excuse for not entering into any relationship. get over yourself... you're not that cool. other people aren't cool enough to hang out with you?
yeah, we went out... yeah, she was bangin and I was blingin... but I'm not going to call her back. I guess I just have really high standards.
by the fuuuuck? June 30, 2004
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common euphemism used when one wishes to politely describe a potential mate as fat, ugly, slutty, or undesireable in any way
It sounds like your friend is my type, but I just have really high standards
by zog June 29, 2004
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